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Today’s Leaderboard

The most-favorited tweets of the last 24 hours.

Leaderboard

Is there a cheaper model of bread machine designed to go directly into storage?
by (Scott Simpson), 8 hours, 47 minutes ago.
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guy behind me in line just stole his daughter's nose calling the police oh wait wait he gave it back
by (Jason Sweeney), 11 hours, 14 minutes ago.
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White monster truck with three kegs in the back and vanity plate IZJEZUS is idling in the parking lot. OMG it's the Rapture!
by (Laura), 1 day ago.
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Dear woman carrying a kitten in a bucket of popcorn while screaming "FRODO? YOU AWAKE, FRODO?" at a second-story window:

You complete me.
by (Jason Sweeney), 12 hours, 52 minutes ago.
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All I can see are tube-tops, Uggs and tramp stamps. It’s like I’ve wandered into a skanktuary.
by (Jamie Sloan), 8 hours, 58 minutes ago.
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I wish the person who came up with the Twitterbelle name had gayed it up a little.
by (Polythene Spam), 1 day, 1 hour ago.
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Pulling pants up high to conceal a big belly is like a comb-over for the gut.
by (richmckay), 1 day ago.
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Pro tip: don't smack a mosquito when it lands on your crotch.
by (Joe Schmitt), 13 hours, 12 minutes ago.
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I think NASCAR would be fun if they added a 92-year old driving the opposite way in a Duster.
by (Miss Creant), 12 hours, 1 minute ago.
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Listen, dude. If you're going to play golf, at least learn to hold the bat right.
by (Peter), 21 hours, 36 minutes ago.
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The best thing about going on a first date to the petting zoo is that if she doesn't put out there are still plenty of options.
by (Nick), 1 day, 1 hour ago.
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Holy lord, that sneeze felt so good I feel like I just cheated. I even named it Stan to further delude myself. I'm such a bad girl!
by (Jess), 1 day ago.
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For a starfish, Patrick's kind of a dick.
by (MC Thumbtack), 14 hours, 48 minutes ago.
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With me, you take the mourning after pill.
by (Sociopathetic), 13 hours, 19 minutes ago.
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I see the way this avocado scrub works, it smells so delicious, you fetch a box of crackers, and drag them over your face.
by (Tammy), 12 hours, 29 minutes ago.
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Let's go reminisce about that time we were nostalgic.
by (JerryThomas), 11 hours, 4 minutes ago.
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I may or may not be one of the secret celebrity guests at Chelsea Clinton's wedding; It depends how tight security is.
by (Conan O'Brien), 9 hours, 41 minutes ago.
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The science of paper towel dispensing technology is relentless, and it is only held back by imagination.
by (Verified Ashley), 10 hours, 11 minutes ago.
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I could be a pretty good money launderer as long as I didn't have to fold it too.
by (Chris Duffy), 8 hours, 13 minutes ago.
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MGSplitViewController for iPad: http://mattgemmell.com/mgsplitviewcontroller-for-ipad
by (Matt Legend Gemmell), 9 hours, 26 minutes ago.
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