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Dexter_Colt

Dexter_Colt’s tweets that have been favorited.

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If I have to ask two times to be paid for services rendered then I've already asked two times too many.
by (Dexter Colt), 2 days, 20 hours ago.
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You stock up on guns. I stock up on magnets. When the machines take over I will have the upper hand.
by (Dexter Colt), 3 days, 9 hours ago.
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Just took a drunken bike ride down the streets of Topeka. I'm the Wicked Witch of the West. Throw a bucket of water on me...I'm done!
by (Dexter Colt), 3 days, 20 hours ago.
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Dead Presidents? We could do so much better with our currency. For example, DINOSAURS!
by (Dexter Colt), 2 weeks ago.
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1 interview. 2 straight-up rejections. 3 requests for more information. 4 new job applications. And, a fucking partridge in a pear tree...
by (Dexter Colt), 2 weeks, 1 day ago.
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Just saw a guy with "Topeka" tattooed on his neck and "Top City" tattooed on his forearms. Must be the mayor or something...
by (Dexter Colt), 2 weeks, 2 days ago.
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@trelvix [drawing nude people doing disgusting things] Yep.
by (Dexter Colt), 2 weeks, 2 days ago.
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I write in a Moleskine just to pretend that my lists are better than your lists. I'm really just doodling pictures of boobs.
by (Dexter Colt), 2 weeks, 2 days ago.
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Hakuna mafatwā! It means no worries for the rest of your days...
by (Dexter Colt), 2 weeks, 2 days ago.
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Ever creep up on someone just to see how close you could get before they notice you? I don't do that shit either. Don't mind my ninja shoes.
by (Dexter Colt), 2 weeks, 5 days ago.
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I'm not hearing any lamentations from the women...
by (Dexter Colt), 2 weeks, 6 days ago.
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I pay attention when voices are hushed. And, there are always hushed voices.
by (Dexter Colt), 3 weeks, 1 day ago.
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"Fuck-making"
by (Dexter Colt), 3 weeks, 1 day ago.
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The 10-year old wrote a 15-page story titled, "The BFF Murderers." In talks with Stephen King's people to turn it into a 5-part miniseries.
by (Dexter Colt), 3 weeks, 2 days ago.
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"Regulating my digestive system."
by (Dexter Colt), 3 weeks, 2 days ago.
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@trelvix Whatever. I bought 10,000 paper-clips...then threw them into the trash on my way out of the store. BALLER!
by (Dexter Colt), 3 weeks, 2 days ago.
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After spending 2 hours with a human resources professional I've come to the realization that I may never work again.
by (Dexter Colt), 3 weeks, 6 days ago.
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@indefensible I know this guy who has 'a little extra.' What do you need, mate? Might I introduce you to the business class?
by (Dexter Colt), 4 weeks, 1 day ago.
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28 grams. Learn your metric system, punk. I'm American, but I done do science.
by (Dexter Colt), 4 weeks, 1 day ago.
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Got the new Sharpie pen. Man, drawing a smiley face on my dick has never been so easy!
by (Dexter Colt), 1 month ago.
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