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GorillaSushi

GorillaSushi’s tweets that have been favorited.

Leaderboard Friends’ Faves Ego Boost

They're handing out free peanut butter cups at the post office with every letter sent.

Can we just be friends, email?
by (Jason Phillips), 1 day, 11 hours ago.
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Getting married sounds like someone trying to conjugate the word "toast".

Let's toast. Thanks for the toaster. We're toasted.
by (Jason Phillips), 2 days, 5 hours ago.
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401Kthxbai
by (Jason Phillips), 3 days, 11 hours ago.
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Next time a guy starts talking about his sexual prowess, tell him to put his dick where his mouth is.
by (Jason Phillips), 4 days, 11 hours ago.
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"I shook it and stuff flew out of the tip." @alinasmith has difficulties with whipped cream.
by (Jason Phillips), 1 week, 2 days ago.
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There's never been a more perfect time for the creation of a sexy hipster-cougar super species.
by (Jason Phillips), 1 week, 2 days ago.
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@RyanJJohn I can't help but get stoked about a good fucking-camel.
by (Jason Phillips), 1 week, 2 days ago.
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(crack) Rock, (rolling) Paper, (lesbian porn) Scissors
by (Jason Phillips), 1 week, 3 days ago.
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Watching the contractors working right outside my window, I'm suddenly feeling awkward about eating this banana.

Naked.
by (Jason Phillips), 1 week, 4 days ago.
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Toilet humor's all fine and good until the toilet finally wears out its "what's the deal with bran muffins" bit.
by (Jason Phillips), 2 weeks, 2 days ago.
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I know there's rules to bowling but I'm from the internet where dipping your balls in the gutter's considered a solid win.
by (Jason Phillips), 2 weeks, 6 days ago.
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I'm sorry I used a Buckcherry song to diagnose your mental illness. :(
by (Jason Phillips), 2 weeks, 6 days ago.
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Apparently, I've been not watching South Park for years and no one's been the wiser.
by (Jason Phillips), 3 weeks ago.
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I've been making "fish dicks" for years and no one's been the wiser.
by (Jason Phillips), 3 weeks ago.
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FREE LOHAN!

No, seriously. You don't even have to spring for dinner first.
by (Jason Phillips), 3 weeks, 1 day ago.
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@InSoOutSo Ring ring! Let's make this happen.
by (Jason Phillips), 3 weeks, 3 days ago.
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So You Think You Can Tony Danza™
by (Jason Phillips), 3 weeks, 3 days ago.
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Sometimes life doesn't make ANY sense at all. Like when you have to add "Liger" to your phone's dictionary.
by (Jason Phillips), 3 weeks, 4 days ago.
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Related: I need a second pregnant lady to eat a placebo that looks like ground-up babies. Science is hard.
by (Jason Phillips), 3 weeks, 4 days ago.
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Today's genius idea involves feeding ground-up babies to a pregnant lady to see if it speeds this whole "9 months" thing.
by (Jason Phillips), 3 weeks, 4 days ago.
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