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spdracerx

spdracerx’s tweets that have been favorited.

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Mom: I think Ashlynn's gotten in to my scotch tape.

Me: I'm really glad you added the word "tape" to the end of that sentence.
by (SpdRacerX), 6 days, 6 hours ago.
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Me: What exactly is the chef's special sauce?

Server: It's a garlic and brown sauce.

Me: I like garlic and brown. I'll have that.
by (SpdRacerX), 1 week, 1 day ago.
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I used to think it was sweet to share a birthday with Tiger Woods and LeBron James, but now I'm worried that I might unknowingly be a d-bag.
by (SpdRacerX), 1 week, 1 day ago.
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A Yo Gabba Gabba book called "Party In My Tummy" is now available at Taco Bell. Insert your own diarrhea joke here.
by (SpdRacerX), 2 weeks ago.
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Dial M For Batman #movieswithbatman
by (SpdRacerX), 2 weeks, 4 days ago.
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Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire is on ABC Family right now. Tune in, everybody, and watch Robert Pattinson get murdered!
by (SpdRacerX), 2 weeks, 5 days ago.
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Notice that the World Cup final is not taking place in Football City; it's in *Soccer* City. Take that, wankers.
by (SpdRacerX), 2 weeks, 5 days ago.
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I've got ants in my pants and butterflies in my stomach. Now I just need to find a bonnet and a beehive.
by (SpdRacerX), 3 weeks ago.
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Now that I'm single again, somehow getting drunk watching Star Trek makes me feel kinda lame.

Ok, *lamer*.
by (SpdRacerX), 3 weeks, 1 day ago.
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♫ I ain't got no job ♫ I ain't got no girlfriend ♫ I ain't got no musical talent to turn this into a real blues song ♫
by (SpdRacerX), 3 weeks, 1 day ago.
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I've been watching the original Star Trek series on DVD for about a week now, and I think I want to give myself a wedgie.
by (SpdRacerX), 3 weeks, 3 days ago.
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I'm starting to think these Veggie Tales have an underlying message of some kind.
by (SpdRacerX), 3 weeks, 3 days ago.
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I'm hopeful that the iPhone 4 is simply the next step in the journey to create the sweet watch that Dick Tracy had.
by (SpdRacerX), 3 weeks, 3 days ago.
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Happy birthday, Lee Greenwood!
by (SpdRacerX), 3 weeks, 5 days ago.
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During the same hot dog-eating contest, Benedict Arnold suffered a dreaded "reversal of fortune."
by (SpdRacerX), 3 weeks, 5 days ago.
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On this day in 1776, Thomas Jefferson shattered King George III's hot dog-eating record which was once thought unbeatable.
by (SpdRacerX), 3 weeks, 5 days ago.
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Earthquakes are the only time when it's acceptable to go a-knockin' on a van which is a-rockin'.
by (SpdRacerX), 3 weeks, 6 days ago.
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So, yeah...I guess my unplanned, unannounced, and unnoticed Twitter break is over now.
by (SpdRacerX), 4 weeks ago.
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If I had a one-word name like a Brazilian soccer player, I'd want it to be Booyah.
by (SpdRacerX), 4 weeks ago.
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Not even noon and it's already 36 degrees?

(See how weird that sounds? The metric system is stupid.)
by (SpdRacerX), 1 month, 1 week ago.
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