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Akula

Tweets favorited by Akula’s friends.

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I ride a bike a lot, okay, but Critical Mass is a useless counter-productive event that can go die in a fire.
by (Dave Shea), 1 hour, 52 minutes ago.
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In preparation for shark week, I'm making my kids take their bath in red water while I play the Jaws theme song.

They'll thank me later.
by (ruthakers), 1 hour, 59 minutes ago.
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Trying to pick a movie with Rupert. He wants Reservoir Dogs, but then it's a week of "call me Mr. Black!"
by (Erika Hall), 2 hours, 4 minutes ago.
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Fueling up in Wyoming. FINALLY out of Montana. Was pretty, though. The Super Wal-Marts out there stretch all the way to the horizon.
by (Matt Herold), 3 hours, 47 minutes ago.
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Follow • me
by (Jesus Christ), 4 hours, 18 minutes ago.
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Tom: You're just more passionate than most.

Me: By 'passionate' do you mean 'crazy?'

Tom: Yes.
by (Dianne), 4 hours, 49 minutes ago.
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"What do you mean there's no beer in the fridge?! But it's Friday! I dunno, restart the server or something! This IS serious!" #startup_life
by (Jevaun), 6 hours, 17 minutes ago.
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A lot of people are trying to discern "God's will". First of all, it's pretty clear he wants most people who get infections to die.
by (john roderick), 7 hours, 58 minutes ago.
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Florida seems to be in a good mood RT @cc_chapman: Twitter Tracks the Entire Country's Mood (Infographic & Video) http://bit.ly/d72oCL
by (Randy Matheson), 8 hours, 23 minutes ago.
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Is it just me or does Jar Jar Binks move like a faster version of Vincent D'Onofrio?
by (SeoulBrother), 8 hours, 39 minutes ago.
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"Dad, I hope you don't get mad at me for talking like this, but Hayward... is an a-word."
by (Geoff Barnes), 8 hours, 51 minutes ago.
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NSFW (acronym) • Internet slang meaning "Use your iPhone".
by (Arch Stanton), 8 hours, 55 minutes ago.
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OH AM I SUPPOSED TO TELL JOKES ON TWITTER? YOUR FACE IS A JOKE.
by (Mama), 9 hours, 7 minutes ago.
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Writing a check. This is so ironic. #lol
by (Aaron Durand), 9 hours, 11 minutes ago.
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So, when are hipsters going to try to bring back paying by checks?
by (Bailey Siewert), 9 hours, 14 minutes ago.
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Ugh, I hate it when my iPhone and iPad get scratched up by all the loose diamonds in my bag.
by (matt), 9 hours, 15 minutes ago.
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Pregnancy teaches you all sorts of fun new things, like how your belly button is off-center just the tiniest bit. Thanks, pregnancy!
by (alina smith), 9 hours, 26 minutes ago.
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I wear either a large or an extra large, depending on how much I've cried that day.
by (Adam Lisagor), 9 hours, 48 minutes ago.
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I wish I knew why all superheroes with tattoos have tribal tattoos. Well, except for Hulk and his inner thigh mermaid tattoo.
by (Mike Minnick), 9 hours, 58 minutes ago.
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don't tell ME that I lack patriotism, you backwards-assed teabagging son of a bitch!

CHRIST! you JUST WATCHED me masturbate into this flag!
by (duty), 10 hours, 9 minutes ago.
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