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AuntMarvel

Tweets favorited by AuntMarvel’s friends.

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My parents are "dancing". It looks like they're being attacked by bees.
by (Aimee B), 1 hour, 44 minutes ago.
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I explained I was wearing flip flops because of my infected open heel wound, not poor fashion, but people still wouldn't high five me. :(
by (Jason), 2 hours, 3 minutes ago.
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 No results found for "Shirley Temple Black Russian"

Until now.
by (matt), 2 hours, 5 minutes ago.
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You still pay for a cell phone? In Bed-Stuy we use courier pigeons instead. If you see me clapping on a rooftop, I'm checking my voicemail.
by (Simon Goetz), 2 hours, 11 minutes ago.
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In the middle of a discussion about Facebook and gender, she suddenly says "Oh! Butter!" and runs out of the room.
by (Simon Crowley), 2 hours, 30 minutes ago.
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I see you're looking at the Aston Martin. You have fine taste. Perhaps I can interest you in a reheated Big Mac. -Facebook as a Car Salesman
by (luckyshirt), 2 hours, 30 minutes ago.
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♪ Bourbon in my slushie ♪
by (Jason Sweeney), 2 hours, 33 minutes ago.
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Me: "Oh god. I wonder what else can go wrong."
Husband: "Hurricane tomorrow."
Me: "Touché."
by (Beth), 2 hours, 38 minutes ago.
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If they made an 80-ton bag of popcorn, I'd still be surprised when I scraped the bottom halfway through the movie.
by (Katie Rose), 2 hours, 51 minutes ago.
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Welcome, new follower.
by (Crab), 2 hours, 52 minutes ago.
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Penis car penis car drives wherever the penises are no I will not shut up I paid to eat in this restaurant goddammit
by (Jay Hathaway), 2 hours, 53 minutes ago.
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Slim frame but luscious booty, glasses that understate a beautiful face, engrossed in a dog-eared Asimov.
Either I'm dead or this is a trap.
by (Sociopathetic), 2 hours, 58 minutes ago.
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I have athlete's foot, but I'm not an athlete. This could be the gateway to hypochondria.
by (Alex), 3 hours ago.
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Hey person that leaves the open soda can in the refrigerator, everyone in the world hates you.
by (Josh Hara), 3 hours, 5 minutes ago.
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Is a bigamist's motto, the more the marrier?
by (Mrs Joshua Homme), 3 hours, 7 minutes ago.
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Paying $20 for scrambled eggs and toasted sourdough bread at that hot new cafe doesn't make you cool. It makes you an idiot.
by (designertalks), 3 hours, 7 minutes ago.
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"Good luck with your band," I said to the guy I had no intention of ever dating again.
by (lauren caltagirone), 3 hours, 8 minutes ago.
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I can see I'll be spending the foreseeable future looking nothing like Christina Hendricks.
by (Kay Morgan), 3 hours, 11 minutes ago.
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The quickest way from snob to douchebag is to only apply your bullshit 'how to tweet' rules to certain people and not to others.
by (JDT), 3 hours, 15 minutes ago.
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IT'S CRIPPLING INSECURITY AND BUD LIGHT LIME TIME.
by (Sam Hey), 3 hours, 17 minutes ago.
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