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BrilliantOrange

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If a Glenn Beck theory proves true, somewhere... a unicorn dies.
by (John ), 10 minutes ago.
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TOYOTA: At least they don't explode™
by (He-Man), 11 minutes ago.
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"Who's a good boy wants his belly rubbed?!" is doing great things for the morale at work.
by (He-Man), 13 minutes ago.
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Rule: if you drink all the joe you better make mo'
by (Meg Abbitch), 13 minutes ago.
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Apparently my super power is being hungover and still managing to be ridiculously productive & efficient at work. loljk. I'm not doin' shit!
by (CousinBrandon), 21 minutes ago.
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After much deliberation, I'm fairly certain the only reason Captain Hook never had any kids is because he scratched his balls a lot.
by (Drew Monge), 21 minutes ago.
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He watched her working in the garden, her love of dirt, the maternal labor of the soil. It moved him. But he was still leaving after dinner.
by (Arjun Basu), 24 minutes ago.
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How big a cliché is it to name your SSD boot drive “Executor”?
by (John Gruber), 27 minutes ago.
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I just ordered a set of personalized license plates. They'll read 324-TXZ. I'm kind of humble that way.
by (David Leibowitz), 41 minutes ago.
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Four pronounces the word "pesto" by saying "pasto". I like her way better.
by (Sarah), 42 minutes ago.
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The upside to losing 15 pounds is that I can fit into old pants I've been saving in my closet.

The downside is I'm still wearing pants.
by (Wade), 50 minutes ago.
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Found a DVD without an envelope in my Pop-Tarts box. I hope you liked Strawberry Frosted, Netflix.
by (Mike), 52 minutes ago.
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Pretending: Because some days you need to be a superhero.
by (Jason Sweeney), 59 minutes ago.
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The sign said BELIEVABURGER but my eyes saw VAGINABURGER and it will probably be a long time before I eat a burger again.
by (MC Thumbtack), 1 hour, 6 minutes ago.
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@tj I just take mine with water.
by (PROCKY), 1 hour, 14 minutes ago.
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A former child star so much as breathes heavily and Danny Bonaduce is asked for comment.
by (kris), 1 hour, 14 minutes ago.
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You know it's going to be a special day when your Mom's teeth are in your backpack.
by (GF), 1 hour, 17 minutes ago.
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My recipe for a good night's sleep will be called "An Ambien & an Orgasm." Label will read "Works best when someone else gives them to you."
by (Ticklish Junk), 1 hour, 18 minutes ago.
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@abigvictory So that's why people say they never got the christening pictures of little Cialis!
by (I'm so street), 1 hour, 21 minutes ago.
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I'm generally acoustic, but today I am electric.
by (jenny ), 1 hour, 21 minutes ago.
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