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Fitzright

Tweets favorited by Fitzright’s friends.

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One day I'm going to accidentally commit the hack I use to mute the volume in this music game and there's going to be a lot of sad teenagers
by (Guy English), 2 hours, 23 minutes ago.
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Problem isn't some ignorant redneck burning a book. Problem is rewarding his stupidity with attention.
by (Tim Bray), 2 hours, 45 minutes ago.
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The thing about Indian food is that an hour later, you want Tantric sex.
by (Aimee B), 2 hours, 49 minutes ago.
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Had a full day today: dentist, optometrist, abortionist. Now I wait and do it all again in 6 months.
by (Brent Something), 2 hours, 54 minutes ago.
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Do they make a gratification that's faster than instant?
by (Rex Huppke), 2 hours, 57 minutes ago.
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…and then Chris Collinsworth said, "Nope, right in the butt, thanks."
by (mikemorrow), 3 hours, 1 minute ago.
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Oh. Football season again. Time for me to consult my book of jokes about how ridiculous it is that Brett Favre can't pronounce his own name.
by (Courtney Reimer), 3 hours, 4 minutes ago.
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You know who's massively uninteresting? Meghan McCain.
by (Clinton Doggett), 3 hours, 14 minutes ago.
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@biorhythmist I had fuck all to do today but chew bubblegum and give out stars. And I'm all out of bubblegum. Something something your mom.
by (doublejack), 3 hours, 17 minutes ago.
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Want to teach your teenage daughter the dangers of sexting? Give her a cell phone and our numbers.
by (TheBestWorstAdvice), 3 hours, 20 minutes ago.
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I thought Photoshop was broken for a minute there but I was hitting "invert" on an area of 50% grey.
by (rstevens), 3 hours, 27 minutes ago.
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Burl Ives lookalikes have been hit hard by the recession. And their chosen profession.
by (The Night Stalker), 3 hours, 40 minutes ago.
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Unbraiding my daughter's hair, struck by how much she looks like a cross between her mother and the Predator alien, overcome with love.
by (Sam Hey), 3 hours, 41 minutes ago.
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Man, some of you people give out more stars in a day than my third grade teacher Mrs. Nussbaum handed out during the entire Holocaust.
by (matt), 3 hours, 41 minutes ago.
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Six teens shot in Chicago in two days. Gee, they grow up so fast. If they grow up.
by (ChiNurse), 3 hours, 42 minutes ago.
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The Terry Jones episode makes me long for simpler times when a man would pretend his kid was in a runaway balloon for global media attention
by (Chris Duffy), 4 hours, 2 minutes ago.
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NFL season opener, damn this is exciting! I'm seriously getting aroused just watching it.




What do you mean this is gay porn?
by (Michael Pierce), 4 hours, 4 minutes ago.
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Bud Light Lime: The low calorie floor cleaner.
by (Angry Old Coot), 4 hours, 4 minutes ago.
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Final fire drill as Safety Warden of the 21st Floor. Good luck finding a replacement with a jaw that inspires confidence like this one.
by (Erik Price), 4 hours, 17 minutes ago.
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THIS BUS SMELLS LIKE THE OUTDOORS
by (KM), 4 hours, 19 minutes ago.
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