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Goose

Tweets favorited by Goose’s friends.

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Purging some of your asses. Feels good too.
by (Jeb Ro), 1 hour, 6 minutes ago.
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Remember when you read all the tweets?
by (Nick Douglas), 1 hour, 12 minutes ago.
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All the icons of my childhood are dying off. Corey Haim, Merlin Olsen, Andy Rooney... oops. I just jinxed myself.
by (Stretch Bootcut), 1 hour, 14 minutes ago.
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Thank you, Zach Galifianakis, for getting famous so that women way out of my league look at me and think, if ever so fleetingly, "maybe."
by (Essex Mortimer Dogg), 1 hour, 15 minutes ago.
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I’m home alone tonight… think I’ll light some candles, soft music, pop open a bottle of wine, find a hand-held mirror and explore myself…
by (Beersuds), 1 hour, 16 minutes ago.
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"Dad, what's a 'tickle fight'?"

"So, you know when you walked in on me and the mailman and I said, "Don't tell mom."? Yes? Ok. That."
by (iamnotdiddy™), 1 hour, 20 minutes ago.
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Lesbians at the prom? Inconceivable. They're not getting the full experience without running the risk of the date ending in a pregnancy.
by (Jonathan), 1 hour, 33 minutes ago.
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I had to change my hairdresser because she just didn't cut it.
by (Lisa Ahé.), 1 hour, 39 minutes ago.
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assholes concerned with numbers can kiss my fat ass
by (Jenga), 1 hour, 49 minutes ago.
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John Waters is the Tim Gunn of whatever John Waters does.
by (Emmy), 1 hour, 51 minutes ago.
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I'm jealous of purses. They turn every day into a little voyage that you have to pack for.
by (Scott Simpson), 2 hours, 6 minutes ago.
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"No no no. *Recital*. With an 'i'."

"Ohhh. That makes more sense. I was wondering how they'd fit a piano in there."
by (Doctor Zaius), 2 hours, 11 minutes ago.
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Braless lady in the supermarket wearing a very loose tank top side flashed me and now I can't get the song "One Headlight" out of my head.
by (MC Thumbtack), 2 hours, 13 minutes ago.
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@leolaporte you need to keep Merlin Mann on a tighter leash.
by (Chris Theberge), 2 hours, 39 minutes ago.
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Installing a fake hardwood floor has been a monumental effort, but watching the kids repeatedly slip and fall on it makes it all worthwhile.
by (Jason), 2 hours, 52 minutes ago.
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@MacHeist Merlin Mann rumoured to be starting new blog on climate change. Just what the world needs: more hot air.
by (Vish Vishvanath), 2 hours, 53 minutes ago.
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The cat just proved itself smarter than me by changing all my settings with one walk of the keyboard
by (Mz TQ), 3 hours, 2 minutes ago.
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The associate editor in the video at merriam-webster.com has let her hair down just for me.
by (rejecter), 3 hours, 27 minutes ago.
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Obama even takes our daylight savings in November.
by (Brian Bolter), 3 hours, 27 minutes ago.
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I can't brain anymore today, my thinks is tired.
by (Crab), 3 hours, 28 minutes ago.
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