If I were redesigning the bazooka I would make it look like a cat. People would be all, "That's a big, fucking cat," and then POW!
by trelvix (Trelvix),
21 minutes ago.
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The cat wears my bras better than I do. FML.
by KirstensDesk (Kirsten's Desk),
41 minutes ago.
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This episode of "Golden Girls" actually says Betty White is 55. Man, that hairstyle really fooled me. I thought no younger than 1,000.
by camillececilia (Camille),
43 minutes ago.
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Oregon is the Amazon Prime of states. When a thing says it costs $29.99, check this out - you pay $29.99!
by nevenmrgan (Neven Mrgan),
45 minutes ago.
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The most interesting thing about the Guggenheim is that it was built in only ONE WEEK by pigeons crapping on an old bed spring.
by plemur (Nick Alias Plemur),
47 minutes ago.
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Saved By The Bell was The Monkees 90210.
by daveshumka (David S.),
50 minutes ago.
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Maybe a rave tent filled with shaving cream wasn't the best idea for the Epileptics' fundraiser after all.
by shariv67 (Shari Vanderwerf),
50 minutes ago.
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"A thousand shots of Debbie Harry's poon don't just vanish from the Internet overnight. No. Uh-uh. Somebody had to gone and done something."
by sloganeerist (JTD),
50 minutes ago.
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White people will never not sing the bum bum bum's in 'Sweet Caroline'.
by ruthakers (ruthakers),
51 minutes ago.
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My senses are so good I don't need a divining rod to find beer at the Minnesota State Fair.
by FlyoverJoel (Joel Ingersoll),
54 minutes ago.
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My GPS is kind of a bitch.
by theresa_lauren (Theresa),
56 minutes ago.
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Guy: you know raspberries & blueberries are highest in anti-oxidants?
Me: nods head
Dude: ok, I'm not going to talk to you anymore
by summersumz (~SUMMER~),
1 hour, 1 minute ago.
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I've said it before and I'll say it again: The "do the dog face" scene in "Bolt" is some of the best character animation I've ever seen.
by jefferyharrell (Jeffery Harrell),
1 hour, 2 minutes ago.
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I'll party like it's whatever goddamn year I want. And get off my lawn.
by debihope (notorious d.e.b.),
1 hour, 2 minutes ago.
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It's sad that we've resorted to naming our hurricanes after dudes in Dixie Chicks' songs.
by aFinnishLine (Finn Kankainen),
1 hour, 6 minutes ago.
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I bet peeping toms see a lot more nose picking than they bargain for.
by yoyoha (Josh Hara),
1 hour, 11 minutes ago.
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Mommy needs a coma
by thefemmenoir (Danielle),
1 hour, 20 minutes ago.
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Earl? Pfft. Even the name sounds like someone who would come up short.
by 1surlygurl (Dilligaf),
1 hour, 20 minutes ago.
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I tried to be a workaholic but workahol tastes like shit.
by donni (donni),
1 hour, 23 minutes ago.
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I worked in a store called Anger. I left because they had such poor management.
by ShiTaTwit (Funnyshit),
1 hour, 26 minutes ago.
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