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Ish

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When a product claims to take your experience "to the next level," I just assume they're talking about hell.
by (SeoulBrother), 1 hour, 46 minutes ago.
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I started catching up on my political news, but then I saw something about a Weiner Rangel and skipped ahead to sports.
by (Wade), 1 hour, 48 minutes ago.
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I have to stop masturbating in the shower for a while because I'm pretty sure my bathtub is ovulating.
by (Josh Donoghue), 1 hour, 49 minutes ago.
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FUCK CHOCOLATE COOKIES -FUCK THEM IN THEIR RICH CHOCOLATE ASSHOLES
by (Josh Hara), 1 hour, 50 minutes ago.
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I wish the little kids who made this t-shirt could see how awesome my boobs look.
by (best girl betty), 1 hour, 52 minutes ago.
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How do I know my Ronald McDonald House Charity donation won't go to shore up Grimmace's child molestation court costs?
by (The Night Stalker), 1 hour, 52 minutes ago.
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I'm glad we don't walk around with our vaginas showing. It's been so humid, and you'd think I'm too old for these pig tails.
by (nine thumps), 1 hour, 54 minutes ago.
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The Chicago Manual of Style is clearly American, but it has an English accent in my head.
by (Chris Clark), 2 hours, 3 minutes ago.
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@gruber no way dude - he's gonna get DENIED all weekend
by (Mike Dixon), 2 hours, 6 minutes ago.
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Any man squinting into the setting sun not thinking of Clint Eastwood is denying the very nature of his soul.
by (Josh Hara), 2 hours, 9 minutes ago.
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Naturally, "Egg Beaters" are tank-tops for white-trash roosters.
by (Jason Mustian ), 2 hours, 10 minutes ago.
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There is a glass of simple syrup in my fridge. Technically it's for cocktails but I'll probably end up chugging it anyway.
by (Chris Aucutt), 2 hours, 10 minutes ago.
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I kiss your mother with this mouth
by (Without Pants), 2 hours, 12 minutes ago.
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Every month my gf comes in complaining of minstrel blood. I hate bards as much as the next guy but stabbing is culturally unrefined.
by (Josh S), 2 hours, 12 minutes ago.
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Here's the video clip from my TV interview earlier. As you can see, the role of me was played by George Clooney. http://bit.ly/cy0GXo
by (Rex Huppke), 2 hours, 16 minutes ago.
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Just explained twitter to someone.
Sigh.
by (Morgan ), 2 hours, 16 minutes ago.
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Yes, art is subjective, but my god some poetry is unbelievably crapalicious.
by (Ben Brooks), 2 hours, 17 minutes ago.
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Sorry. I realize that was pretty thin camouflage for a second bumper joke, but my lawyers assured me it was a perfectly reasonable response.
by (Geoff Barnes), 2 hours, 20 minutes ago.
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It looks like Tampa Bay plays their games inside a deserted Sam's Club.
by (John Gruber), 2 hours, 29 minutes ago.
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It turns out that using her vibrator to stir a can of paint was somewhat of a dildon't.
by (Brent Something), 2 hours, 29 minutes ago.
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