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JimRoepcke

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My 3 year old (again out of a deep sleep): "How do you say jello in abulito's language?"
by (Raul Gutierrez), 2 hours, 29 minutes ago.
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South Africa is a terrible name for a country. Because it reminds people of Africa.
by (inappropriate), 2 hours, 33 minutes ago.
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My twitter account was hacked! 15 months ago. My last 415 tweets were the hacker. He's pretty funny!
by (Amir Blumenfeld), 2 hours, 43 minutes ago.
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Ever find yourself trying to pick out soup at Whole Foods and just decide to lie face-down on the floor until the police arrive?
by (todd levin), 3 hours, 5 minutes ago.
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One day I'm going to accidentally commit the hack I use to mute the volume in this music game and there's going to be a lot of sad teenagers
by (Guy English), 3 hours, 18 minutes ago.
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Problem isn't some ignorant redneck burning a book. Problem is rewarding his stupidity with attention.
by (Tim Bray), 3 hours, 40 minutes ago.
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Can't believe Petraeus made an appearance on the show. Some people will do any lifetime of military service to get on TV.
by (Stephen Colbert), 3 hours, 46 minutes ago.
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"Hey, dad? Do you know loggoggers work on logs in holland? We have to go see that sometime." @aidactyl
by (Luke Dorny), 3 hours, 56 minutes ago.
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Why hasn't 4chan done anything about this Koran-burning dude? I thought they were our police.
by (kfan), 4 hours, 23 minutes ago.
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This is always the time of year I regret getting my XFL tattoo.
by (Paul Scheer), 4 hours, 32 minutes ago.
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Man, some of you people give out more stars in a day than my third grade teacher Mrs. Nussbaum handed out during the entire Holocaust.
by (matt), 4 hours, 36 minutes ago.
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From the "Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers!" school of public speaking, here's Phil Davison of Minerva, OH. http://is.gd/f3pv4
by (Jason Anthony Guy), 4 hours, 52 minutes ago.
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Over Anchorage, AK. Looking everywhere but can't see Russia from here. Will keep you updated as search continues. http://twitpic.com/2mvxod
by (Gov. Schwarzenegger), 5 hours, 5 minutes ago.
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@Choire First is that you read books, right?
by (Joel Johnson), 5 hours, 10 minutes ago.
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Ever looked at a slice of spiral-cut ham and wondered: 'What can I tell about the machine that cut this from the grooves I see?' I love you.
by (name), 5 hours, 14 minutes ago.
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this is what my dad had to say about texting: "they write to each other, but not words, they say 'haha BFF, BFF'"
by (Kate Beaton), 5 hours, 30 minutes ago.
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Not being religious is a tremendous time-saver.
by (Andy Borowitz), 5 hours, 37 minutes ago.
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Brett-Favre-is-so-old jokes seemed a lot funnier before I remembered that I'm older than he is.
by (Joe Schmitt), 5 hours, 38 minutes ago.
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I only get to wish my amazing sister @irreverend a happy birthday once a year, so let me have this.
by (Adam Lisagor), 5 hours, 40 minutes ago.
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In case I drink too much and pass out for a while, Merry Christmas you guys.
by (MJ), 5 hours, 49 minutes ago.
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