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Kalli

Tweets favorited by Kalli’s friends.

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Fun Size? More like Disappointment Size, Mr. American Chocolate Bar Corporation.
by (JerryThomas), 17 minutes ago.
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If history has taught us anything, it's that if you are a boy with a beard and a guitar, I will probably sleep with you.
by (christa), 20 minutes ago.
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Revenge is a dish best served secretly covered with sperm.
by (fuckedy), 30 minutes ago.
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Bitches! What's up? (you're a bitch if you respond)
by (Em), 33 minutes ago.
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Your mom's like the town bicycle: everyone shuns the town bicycle, preferring to ride their own bicycles.
by (BATSHELTER), 35 minutes ago.
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It wasn't so much a break-up as it was a series of breakdowns (logic, communication, bathroom door).
by (Sociopathetic), 41 minutes ago.
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I hate the phrase "parental unit." I saw my dad's parental unit once, and it scarred me for life.
by (Mike), 43 minutes ago.
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I often wonder about my place in the grand scheme of things and then I remember your mom is a whore.

Thanks for that.
by (Laura), 51 minutes ago.
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If the show was called Tin Chef, I'd kick ass.
by (Clayton Hove), 51 minutes ago.
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My teenage sons are Gurping. Why didn't any of you warn me about this?
by (The Bosha), 51 minutes ago.
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Dumb and Dumber....and Earl.
by (Dilligaf), 59 minutes ago.
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Michael Lohan opening a rehab facility is like Mel Gibson teaching an anger management course.
by (D), 1 hour ago.
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I don't drink wine because I'm an alcoholic. I'm a foot fetishist masochist who dreams of having his grapes stomped.
by (Peter-john Byrnes), 1 hour, 6 minutes ago.
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Beverly Hills 90210 sucked.

I mean come on, it's set over 80,000 years in the future, and everyone on future Earth is still sad?
by (luckyshirt), 1 hour, 6 minutes ago.
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When did style shift that allowed only obese American men with salt and pepper ponytails to wear berets?
by (Joel Ingersoll), 1 hour, 6 minutes ago.
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One day my children will thank me for raising them to be open minded to only the things I believe.
by (Brian Bolter), 1 hour, 8 minutes ago.
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OH: "Diddy damn bolimbo, get in the car, Frances!"

I don't really understand people in gated communities.
by (Jess), 1 hour, 8 minutes ago.
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I'd hate to disappear from an Applebee's®. Nancy Grace would repeat it over and over and over again. HOW EMBARRASSING.
by (Yaya), 1 hour, 10 minutes ago.
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This damn fly in here is so big, I thought my five-year-old had gotten out of bed.
by (Mike), 1 hour, 11 minutes ago.
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Don't u hate when you look at a nice piece of machinery and a 10 year old is sitting at the drivers seat?
by (Ryne Braun), 1 hour, 14 minutes ago.
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