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MODAT

Tweets favorited by MODAT’s friends.

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Sometimes during sloppy drunk sex when he's trying to find my clit it feels a lot like a 5am alarm and you can't find the snooze button.
by (Nico Dice), 23 minutes ago.
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I wish women had a snooze button on their ass you could smack so they'd shut the fuck up for nine minutes.
by (Bill Mc7), 28 minutes ago.
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My iPhone just autocorrected "everyone" to "wartime". I'm not entirely sure what that means but I'm pretty sure we're all going to die.
by (Michael Pierce), 29 minutes ago.
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I think I just met my future husband. Well, maybe not. But I met a guy who likes Jesus and kids and me.
by (Hairy Godmother), 32 minutes ago.
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Flexibility is not always required for compromising positions but it helps.
by (Jane), 45 minutes ago.
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PARTY TIP: Spinach salad. Whatever. Iron. It's good for you. Just eat it.
by (Polythene Spam), 47 minutes ago.
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People who post those waves for their favorite football team are the ones who still try starting the wave at games too.
by (Mike Andreasen), 47 minutes ago.
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The cats talk such smack the night before a boxing match...but the way they hit themselves on the head with those teeny gloves kills me.
by (Angie ), 48 minutes ago.
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This night could use some fornication.
by (Keith Moon), 52 minutes ago.
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Few people know this, but Stevie Nicks' real name is Stevie Knickerbockers.
by (Clayton Hove), 53 minutes ago.
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Jesse James scored big, Kat Von D. He can get herpes and date a tranny at the same time now.
by (Cat), 53 minutes ago.
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There's an enormous leap between speaking with a twang and inbreeding. Thank god my legs aren't that long.
by (Nevin), 54 minutes ago.
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Oh, I love the night life. I like to boogie.
by (Wade), 56 minutes ago.
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Husband's back. He brought me a present. Of course I'm suspicious, but the earrings are too beautiful to concern myself with hotel whores.
by (Butterfingers), 56 minutes ago.
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My sock puppet's tits are better than yours, and I used tangled up cat yarn for her snatch.
by (Verified Ashley), 59 minutes ago.
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Fuck! There should be two p's in "thumped!" Why aren't there?
by (Pam), 1 hour, 4 minutes ago.
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This bottle of homemade wine tastes terrible so I dropped a couple Kool-Aid fun fizz thingys in it. Still tastes bad but its fizzy.
by (Ellys Sullivan), 1 hour, 5 minutes ago.
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I bet some people you see smiling while meditating are just smelling the beauty of their farts.
by (Nick Alias Plemur), 1 hour, 5 minutes ago.
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I don't get this GPS dating thing. Every time I tell her how big my penis is it says recalculating.
by (m00n man), 1 hour, 5 minutes ago.
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Currently using my daughter's iTouch to read your tweets. Also, reading her emails and writing shit on her Facebook page.
by (Beerhaze), 1 hour, 6 minutes ago.
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