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MattRedacted

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The Terry Jones episode makes me long for simpler times when a man would pretend his kid was in a runaway balloon for global media attention
by (Chris Duffy), 3 hours, 59 minutes ago.
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Oh yeah I forgot, I hate Cris Collinsworth.
by (Soap Box Liberal), 4 hours, 31 minutes ago.
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The aisles at Walmart look like they are stocked by a tornado with a bazooka.
by (luckyshirt), 4 hours, 34 minutes ago.
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Brett-Favre-is-so-old jokes seemed a lot funnier before I remembered that I'm older than he is.
by (Joe Schmitt), 4 hours, 39 minutes ago.
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After my boy broke his leg, we got him the iCast. It's thin and sleek but the AT&T service sucks, so he's just limping along.
by (Rex Huppke), 4 hours, 49 minutes ago.
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In case I drink too much and pass out for a while, Merry Christmas you guys.
by (MJ), 4 hours, 50 minutes ago.
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Sometimes it's good to start out 'doing it wrong'; if only to bolster your appreciation for the principles of geometry.
by (amuirin), 5 hours, 17 minutes ago.
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I took a few days off work to give the Febreze® a rest.
by (Feengrangle Qualis), 5 hours, 33 minutes ago.
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I just tried to shop for clothes at the mall, and I guess "stupid" is the new black.
by (MJ), 5 hours, 39 minutes ago.
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I love your fucking weird-ass haiku.
by (amuirin), 5 hours, 46 minutes ago.
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I admit I am diasappointed over the lack of magma here in this lavatory.
by (David Leibowitz), 5 hours, 57 minutes ago.
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Good thing Pastor Terry Jones likes fire so much.
by (Jesus Christ), 8 hours, 13 minutes ago.
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After some light, informal polling I've come to find that 54% of my neighbors firmly believe the Archbishop of Canterbury is a Muslim.
by (Uncle Dynamite), 8 hours, 31 minutes ago.
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I wouldn't call myself a 'Triscuit' guy.
by (Sam LW), 8 hours, 34 minutes ago.
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My new medication is making me so irresistible to women that I have to beat them off with a stick!

Or maybe I'm just doing that...
by (MJ), 8 hours, 46 minutes ago.
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I can always tell when someone is praying for my soul because I get an erection.
by (J. Adam Moore), 9 hours, 1 minute ago.
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Lunatic threatens certain violence unless his inane demands are met. Seems like we should have a word for people like that.
by (Jim Ray), 9 hours, 13 minutes ago.
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If you say "That reminds me of a good story," I automatically think "This story's gonna suck."
by (donni), 10 hours, 20 minutes ago.
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I'm going to burn a pile of Richie Rich comic books. Take that, you affluent white Republican children.
by (JD Crowe), 10 hours, 32 minutes ago.
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Let's freak out the people of Billings, Montana. Everyone start walking there, slowly.
by (Tim Siedell), 10 hours, 49 minutes ago.
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