"So… it got quiet in here…"
Worst mens room icebreaker, ever.
by SeoulBrother (SeoulBrother),
4 hours, 42 minutes ago.
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Someone should make a giant Foosball game, with real people kicking the ball around. Then they should make a small table version of that.
by markleggett (Mark Leggett),
5 hours, 11 minutes ago.
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If you scream out"I AM NOT A ROBOT!" in a crowded public place, I bet there will be at least one person who won't believe you.
by markleggett (Mark Leggett),
5 hours, 22 minutes ago.
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I used to know the cheat code for skipping sleep.
by apelad (A. Koford),
6 hours, 5 minutes ago.
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@dwiskus file a Radar that just says "bug".
by kickingbear (Guy English),
6 hours, 31 minutes ago.
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I just flew into Texas and boy are my arms UNCONCEALED, AS GOD INTENDED.
by magnetbox (Ben Tesch),
6 hours, 33 minutes ago.
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Guys, airport jokes are the best! They're funny cos they're true! People on planes *are* really annoying! Flights often don't leave on time!
by sandwichpolice (SandPo),
7 hours, 3 minutes ago.
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Looking forward to all the airport jokes tomorrow from friends flying to SXSW. Airport jokes are my favorite.
by sandwichpolice (SandPo),
7 hours, 8 minutes ago.
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How does the unfunny joke behind Family Guy keep getting unfunnier? How do they find so many flavors of suck? Ivy-league writers, probably.
by johnroderick (john roderick),
7 hours, 14 minutes ago.
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Movie idea: Spring Forward. Some kind of stupid Hugh Grant thing.
by badbanana (Tim Siedell),
7 hours, 20 minutes ago.
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Gonna see a clown about a phobia.
by rstevens (rstevens),
7 hours, 29 minutes ago.
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"Hiring Dan Hedaya to handle my personal business."
by weselec (shane),
7 hours, 37 minutes ago.
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The Dyson Airblade gives an unsurprisingly mean handjob.
by highindustrial (Raza Syed),
7 hours, 41 minutes ago.
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When I put the hood of my sweatshirt up, I believe I gain superpowers, but I'm mostly just hiding.
by rands (rands),
8 hours, 1 minute ago.
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Merlin's an annoying tool; why worry over him? RT @MacHeist: MBW discussed the nanoBundle. @hotdogsladies needs to check...get over himself
by DistortedLoop (Dave),
8 hours, 8 minutes ago.
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Know when Marilyn Monroe sings Happy Birthday Mr. President and the sexual tension is suffocating? Me and @jimray in this cafe right now.
by samhey (Sam Hey),
8 hours, 10 minutes ago.
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I attended a bris on @foreskin!
by ftrain (Paul Ford),
8 hours, 12 minutes ago.
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Chinese food is so fun when the delivery man shows up at your door, and so sad when you wake up on the couch covered in peanut shame sauce.
by Just_Alison (Alison Agosti),
8 hours, 13 minutes ago.
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Print is dead… except in a SXSW swag bag.
by SeoulBrother (SeoulBrother),
8 hours, 14 minutes ago.
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Not having a local phone number blows. I need to buy a burner.
by indefensible (Indefensible),
8 hours, 28 minutes ago.
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