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Salaguinto

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Facebook is trying to trademark the word "Face". I am going to trademark the word "aceboo", and then wait for the dollars to roll in.
by (Conan O'Brien), 8 hours, 2 minutes ago.
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Thanks to all my new followers. I guess you should know that in the shower I wash my ass crack with my bare hands. Just being honest here.
by (Greg), 8 hours, 34 minutes ago.
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YOU CANNOT GROW LETTUCE ON AN ICEBERG!
by (Laura), 8 hours, 37 minutes ago.
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When crying, I recommend using a separate tissue for wiping snot and tears. I think I just got a booger infection in my left eye.
by (Cache In Hand), 8 hours, 42 minutes ago.
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I lost a follower, my bad - I thought people knew people fucked...I'm so uninformed.
by (Angie ), 8 hours, 42 minutes ago.
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I'm pretty sure guys who have kids pretend shit more than they actual shit.
by (Josh Hara), 8 hours, 43 minutes ago.
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I wish I could turn all my issues into Playboy issues.
by (Paul), 8 hours, 44 minutes ago.
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"I'm pretty white for a fly(ing) guy."


~Peter Pan
by (Keith Moon), 8 hours, 48 minutes ago.
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It is a complete failure of the free market system that breast pumps do not offer penile attachments.
by (This Charming Man ), 8 hours, 57 minutes ago.
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RT @shanethevein: That Favstar leaderboard is totally unfair. There should be a separate board for us employed people.
by (Pete), 8 hours, 59 minutes ago.
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That Favstar leaderboard is totally unfair. There should be a separate board for us employed people.
by (Shane), 9 hours, 5 minutes ago.
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At the precise moment when pain meets pleasure...rug burn is born.
by (Nevin), 9 hours, 7 minutes ago.
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Are throat babies a real thing? Because after last night, my throat is all swollen and my breath smells like baby shit.
by (Missy), 9 hours, 12 minutes ago.
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Zsa Zsa Gabor, an oil rig, iTunes 10 and 33 Chilean miners walk into a bar. Stop me if you've heard this one before.
by (Josh Hopkins), 9 hours, 16 minutes ago.
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My neighbor's such a narcissist she actually has her own name on a bottle of House Vicodin that will now taste like House Tic Tacs.
by (Katie L), 9 hours, 17 minutes ago.
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I'm not a team player. And thanks toTwitter, I think we've already established that.
by (Victoria), 9 hours, 18 minutes ago.
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Why does Colin Firth have to be wet in all of his movies? Why do I have to be, for that matter?
by (Aimee B), 9 hours, 19 minutes ago.
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There are these really unusually pretty, big-breasted girls in this horror film I'm watching. I sure do hope they make it out alive.
by (Rhona ), 9 hours, 19 minutes ago.
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Aww, Kat von D and Jesse James look so cute together- the dead behind their eyes matches.
by (randomisms), 9 hours, 30 minutes ago.
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Three things I would never look good in: a Hawaiian shirt, a cowboy hat, and Kirsten Dunst.
by (Jason Osborne), 9 hours, 43 minutes ago.
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