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YouSeeMike

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When someone uses 'diarrhea of the mouth', I don't think they really remember the last time they had diarrhea.
by (Matthew), 25 minutes ago.
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Redis shouldn't bother with bold-on sharding. It will suck and redis already has feature-itis. Stick to your strengths. (cc: @antirez)
by (James Golick), 25 minutes ago.
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Just did my first FaceTime call. Notes:
-No black guy on the other end like the ads claim.
-Decent level of nudity.
-Your mom says hello.
by (Jeff Kelley), 26 minutes ago.
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@PolarBearFarm @majicDave @nzkoz are we planning to hold it outdoors? #confused
by (Rowan Simpson), 28 minutes ago.
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When a product claims to take your experience "to the next level," I just assume they're talking about hell.
by (SeoulBrother), 1 hour, 55 minutes ago.
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FUCK CHOCOLATE COOKIES -FUCK THEM IN THEIR RICH CHOCOLATE ASSHOLES
by (Josh Hara), 1 hour, 59 minutes ago.
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I wish the little kids who made this t-shirt could see how awesome my boobs look.
by (best girl betty), 2 hours, 1 minute ago.
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How do I know my Ronald McDonald House Charity donation won't go to shore up Grimmace's child molestation court costs?
by (The Night Stalker), 2 hours, 1 minute ago.
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I'm glad we don't walk around with our vaginas showing. It's been so humid, and you'd think I'm too old for these pig tails.
by (nine thumps), 2 hours, 2 minutes ago.
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The Chicago Manual of Style is clearly American, but it has an English accent in my head.
by (Chris Clark), 2 hours, 12 minutes ago.
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@gruber no way dude - he's gonna get DENIED all weekend
by (Mike Dixon), 2 hours, 15 minutes ago.
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Any man squinting into the setting sun not thinking of Clint Eastwood is denying the very nature of his soul.
by (Josh Hara), 2 hours, 17 minutes ago.
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Naturally, "Egg Beaters" are tank-tops for white-trash roosters.
by (Jason Mustian ), 2 hours, 19 minutes ago.
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There is a glass of simple syrup in my fridge. Technically it's for cocktails but I'll probably end up chugging it anyway.
by (Chris Aucutt), 2 hours, 19 minutes ago.
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I kiss your mother with this mouth
by (Without Pants), 2 hours, 21 minutes ago.
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Every month my gf comes in complaining of minstrel blood. I hate bards as much as the next guy but stabbing is culturally unrefined.
by (Josh S), 2 hours, 21 minutes ago.
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Here's the video clip from my TV interview earlier. As you can see, the role of me was played by George Clooney. http://bit.ly/cy0GXo
by (Rex Huppke), 2 hours, 25 minutes ago.
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Just explained twitter to someone.
Sigh.
by (Morgan ), 2 hours, 25 minutes ago.
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Yes, art is subjective, but my god some poetry is unbelievably crapalicious.
by (Ben Brooks), 2 hours, 26 minutes ago.
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Sorry. I realize that was pretty thin camouflage for a second bumper joke, but my lawyers assured me it was a perfectly reasonable response.
by (Geoff Barnes), 2 hours, 29 minutes ago.
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