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aard

Tweets favorited by aard’s friends.

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My parents are "dancing". It looks like they're being attacked by bees.
by (Aimee B), 1 hour, 37 minutes ago.
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I explained I was wearing flip flops because of my infected open heel wound, not poor fashion, but people still wouldn't high five me. :(
by (Jason), 1 hour, 56 minutes ago.
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 No results found for "Shirley Temple Black Russian"

Until now.
by (matt), 1 hour, 58 minutes ago.
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You still pay for a cell phone? In Bed-Stuy we use courier pigeons instead. If you see me clapping on a rooftop, I'm checking my voicemail.
by (Simon Goetz), 2 hours, 5 minutes ago.
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In the middle of a discussion about Facebook and gender, she suddenly says "Oh! Butter!" and runs out of the room.
by (Simon Crowley), 2 hours, 23 minutes ago.
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I see you're looking at the Aston Martin. You have fine taste. Perhaps I can interest you in a reheated Big Mac. -Facebook as a Car Salesman
by (luckyshirt), 2 hours, 23 minutes ago.
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Me: "Oh god. I wonder what else can go wrong."
Husband: "Hurricane tomorrow."
Me: "Touché."
by (Beth), 2 hours, 32 minutes ago.
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If they made an 80-ton bag of popcorn, I'd still be surprised when I scraped the bottom halfway through the movie.
by (Katie Rose), 2 hours, 44 minutes ago.
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Penis car penis car drives wherever the penises are no I will not shut up I paid to eat in this restaurant goddammit
by (Jay Hathaway), 2 hours, 46 minutes ago.
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My parents got a new TV in the living room and a new bug zapper out on the porch. I got a Sophie's Choice.
by (Erik Price), 3 hours, 13 minutes ago.
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@bailey your mother.
by (Shane), 3 hours, 25 minutes ago.
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Got a flat on 22nd.
by (Shane), 3 hours, 32 minutes ago.
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@mat @dylan20 @tcarmody I just keep a special VIP list to prioritize Twitter: http://bit.ly/apB68P
by (Will Smith), 3 hours, 44 minutes ago.
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Yeah, so, @bailey and I forming a band called "The Pigeon Collision."
by (Robert S Andersen), 3 hours, 45 minutes ago.
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"Hummus is the Android of food." -@cw
by (Evan Williams), 3 hours, 56 minutes ago.
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At what age should you tell kids that you'd totally fuck their dad?
by (Alison Agosti), 4 hours, 8 minutes ago.
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I love you guys (and your moms)
by (matt), 4 hours, 37 minutes ago.
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Violent Femme's "Blister in the Sun" turned out to be herpes.
by (Mat Johnson), 5 hours ago.
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I know when I think "computer tech support", I think "Florence Henderson" - http://www.flohclub.com/
by (Jeff Chausse), 5 hours, 2 minutes ago.
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If one woman can produce a baby in nine months, then 1,166,400 women can produce a baby in 20 seconds flat.
by (Arch Stanton), 5 hours, 18 minutes ago.
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