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adamisacson

Tweets favorited by adamisacson’s friends.

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C'mere mamacita, put down that Fixodent and let the doctor teach you the Gimpy Pelican.
by (Sam Hey), 1 hour, 22 minutes ago.
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I just saw a six year old Puerto Rican boy who had almost a full mustache.
by (Jodi Faye Bullock), 1 hour, 32 minutes ago.
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This Monday at 11am, my spaceballs are scheduled to be detached from the mothership.
by (Luke in Vancouver), 1 hour, 44 minutes ago.
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I could have set a bomb off in that WalMart bathroom, but I didn't want to improve the condition & leave the staff nothing to do.
by (Papa CokeBear), 1 hour, 48 minutes ago.
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If a tree falls at the Garden Center and nobody's around to hear, it's best to just walk to the exit and leave immediately.
by (David R Jennings), 1 hour, 52 minutes ago.
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With the unfortunate side effects of many of the healthier foods, nutrition should really be called tootrition.
by (Clayton Hove), 1 hour, 54 minutes ago.
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I skipped a baby shower today but still have a migraine & abdominal discomfort. Are there other sources of migraine & abdominal discomfort?
by (Trixie Longboots), 1 hour, 55 minutes ago.
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Gotta love a novel that starts with the sentence: "America, said Horace, the office temp, was a run-down and demented pimp." (-Lipsyte)
by , 1 hour, 56 minutes ago.
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Sorry, @theresa_lauren. I can't help but feel partially responsible for that. (My spirit animal IS rabies.)
by (Remiel), 1 hour, 58 minutes ago.
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Someday I need to learn how to shave my legs so that they don't appear to have gotten caught in a lawn mower.
by (Katie ), 1 hour, 59 minutes ago.
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This buffet offers a smorgasbord of painful diarrheas.
by (angela black), 2 hours, 3 minutes ago.
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“Cardiac paddles…? You didn't bring a lovometer?
Wait a minute. Are you from the heart lab or the <3 lab?”

.
by (state your name), 2 hours, 7 minutes ago.
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They Might Be Giants.

I might be drunk.
by (Befralee MehGraw), 2 hours, 8 minutes ago.
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http://twitpic.com/17ubbv - Look what came in the mail today!
by (califmom), 2 hours, 9 minutes ago.
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I have a perpetual headache that can only be cured by perpetual sex.
by (Thaozilla), 2 hours, 14 minutes ago.
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I love thunderstorms, but Mr. T-Storm? Could u wait til my kids are asleep before you unleash your fury? They're sorta freakin out. KTHXBAI
by (Meleah), 2 hours, 17 minutes ago.
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@theresa_lauren Was it that song about the guy and the girl?
by (Young Turk), 2 hours, 23 minutes ago.
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Usually when kids scream, it's because they're horsing around or whatnot. But every once in a while, it's because they're being eaten.
by (rob delaney), 2 hours, 24 minutes ago.
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@worldwarmike I could hear her shudder from downstairs.
by (angela black), 2 hours, 27 minutes ago.
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If you're very quiet, you can hear the sad trombone after the phrase "Also showing in 2D".
by (Jason Sweeney), 2 hours, 27 minutes ago.
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