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awryone

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If I were redesigning the bazooka I would make it look like a cat. People would be all, "That's a big, fucking cat," and then POW!
by (Trelvix), 19 minutes ago.
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Oregon is the Amazon Prime of states. When a thing says it costs $29.99, check this out - you pay $29.99!
by (Neven Mrgan), 43 minutes ago.
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"A thousand shots of Debbie Harry's poon don't just vanish from the Internet overnight. No. Uh-uh. Somebody had to gone and done something."
by (JTD), 48 minutes ago.
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White people will never not sing the bum bum bum's in 'Sweet Caroline'.
by (ruthakers), 49 minutes ago.
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My GPS is kind of a bitch.
by (Theresa), 53 minutes ago.
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That's ok. I didn't want any new followers anyway. #ffuckyall
by (Carla R.), 57 minutes ago.
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Guy: you know raspberries & blueberries are highest in anti-oxidants?

Me: nods head

Dude: ok, I'm not going to talk to you anymore
by (~SUMMER~), 58 minutes ago.
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I've said it before and I'll say it again: The "do the dog face" scene in "Bolt" is some of the best character animation I've ever seen.
by (Jeffery Harrell), 59 minutes ago.
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I bet peeping toms see a lot more nose picking than they bargain for.
by (Josh Hara), 1 hour, 9 minutes ago.
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14yo: "Some people quote presidents. Some people quote prophets. Our family quotes comedians and Arrested Development."
by (Jerilyn Hassell Pool), 1 hour, 30 minutes ago.
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The wise man also says that the crime rate is very low. Probably explains why random women are walking around solo at 4am. Or maybe not...
by (Chamillionaire), 1 hour, 31 minutes ago.
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Who's Earl?
by ( Jen), 1 hour, 45 minutes ago.
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After the apocalypse, when we have to survive on cans of cat food, I'll be totally fine. Really. I might add a dash of salt. Mmmm.
by (Neven Mrgan), 1 hour, 47 minutes ago.
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My Glenn Beck Halloween costume will be easy.
All I need to do is put eye holes in a douche bag.
by (Feengrangle Qualis), 2 hours, 7 minutes ago.
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@timhaines Yeah, I'd say it's isolated. Went for a look around the area I live and you'd have no idea an earthquake even happened.
by (Sam Symons), 2 hours, 14 minutes ago.
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From your mouth to God's ears. Then into your ass. Then into God's mouth. Etc, etc...
by (Jason Mustian ), 2 hours, 20 minutes ago.
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How many roofies do I slip in a pizza, you know ... if the pizza's playing hard to get?
by (Josh Donoghue), 2 hours, 20 minutes ago.
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My parents are "dancing". It looks like they're being attacked by bees.
by (Aimee B), 2 hours, 28 minutes ago.
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BP must be in the diaper business, too. These blowout preventers never work.
by (Brian Bolter), 2 hours, 34 minutes ago.
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I'm on the same page as myself which has to be better than we all did next week.
by (Morgan ), 2 hours, 42 minutes ago.
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