Tweeteorites

cleapow

Tweets favorited by cleapow’s friends.

Leaderboard Friends’ Faves Ego Boost

#ff @YUCKYBOT, I feel like this is a wasted ff. Everyone should be following him, if not you're an idiot.
by (Kristen Rider), 30 minutes ago.
Favorited by Friend

100 push-ups. 100 sit-ups. 100 pull-ups. 100 mg codeine ...and counting.
by (Jonathan), 33 minutes ago.
Favorited by Friend

My momma taught me never to waste food. http://twitpic.com/2a6ana
by (Gem), 35 minutes ago.
Favorited by Friend

It's really hard to make jokes about anal and that's why I keep trying.
by (Brian Drury), 36 minutes ago.
Favorited by Friend

Everytime a fast food drone tells me a price I tell them it was a good year: "7.86? That was a good year." It's a wonder I haven't been shot
by (Caleb K), 36 minutes ago.
Favorited by Friend

kaaaannnYYYEEEE, wwwOOOOULd yoUUUU do twittERRRR A fAAAAvvvoooRRRRRR aNd STF-UUUUUUpppp.

[typed in auto-tune]
by (Michael Pierce), 37 minutes ago.
Favorited by Friend

Gonna start putting my own name and number down as Next Of Kin.
Its obvious that Noone can be trusted.
by (Rachael Kathryn), 40 minutes ago.
Favorited by Friend

My 7yrold wants to know why it's called a "bra" and not a "boob protector." And I can't come up with a single good reason.
by (Jennifer txmomof3), 40 minutes ago.
Favorited by Friend

BTW - Thank you to all who sent #FF's today. Truly. I really would love to have written you all back if I wanted to. Hugs . . .
by (Brian Drury), 43 minutes ago.
Favorited by Friend

The dragonfly I caught in the house & released now has to explain to his wife that the blonde he spent the night with meant NOTHING to him.
by (Shauna. With a u.), 43 minutes ago.
Favorited by Friend

Whenever I'm home alone on the weekend, I cant help but wonder why K-Y® doesn't make a His and Hands gel.
by (rodney), 45 minutes ago.
Favorited by Friend

So meth heads love to deep clean apartments, right? I'm gonna go out clubbing tonight & find me a couple.
by (Mud), 47 minutes ago.
Favorited by Friend

7yo: "Mom! Don't text and drive." Me: "Back off Oprah." Where do I pick up my trophy?
by (wickedamy), 49 minutes ago.
Favorited by Friend

My tears taste like dolphin sweat.
by (Tiny Jesus), 50 minutes ago.
Favorited by Friend

A telltale sign of daddy issues would be masturbating with a baseball glove. Not that it happens in Sweden.
by (rejecter), 52 minutes ago.
Favorited by Friend

If there's one thing I'm able to do with absolute consistency it's write down a grocery list and forget to take it with me.
by (El Pee), 53 minutes ago.
Favorited by Friend

When in doubt, break out in a gnarly air guitar solo.
by (Stephanie), 54 minutes ago.
Favorited by Friend

I cannot wait until Cloning is invented.

People can finally go fuck themselves.
by (Malcolm Ramsay), 56 minutes ago.
Favorited by Friend

I love 2 for 1 happy hour specials. I think that's why I have a 2 in 1 body.
by (Gem), 56 minutes ago.
Favorited by Friend
Also by

Cicada's in the trees..drunk chicken on the grill..I love this southern shit.
by (tammy tovar), 58 minutes ago.
Favorited by Friend