Tweeteorites

crispycracka

Tweets favorited by crispycracka’s friends.

Leaderboard Friends’ Faves Ego Boost

To see favorites from all this user's friends, timelines need to be enabled. To enable timelines, this user needs to either sign in with Twitter:

Or to ask @tweeteorites on Twitter.

After being enabled, it may take several hours for the timeline to show up.

When a product claims to take your experience "to the next level," I just assume they're talking about hell.
by (SeoulBrother), 1 hour, 40 minutes ago.
Favorited by Friend
Also by

I started catching up on my political news, but then I saw something about a Weiner Rangel and skipped ahead to sports.
by (Wade), 1 hour, 43 minutes ago.
Favorited by Friend

I have to stop masturbating in the shower for a while because I'm pretty sure my bathtub is ovulating.
by (Josh Donoghue), 1 hour, 43 minutes ago.
Favorited by Friend

FUCK CHOCOLATE COOKIES -FUCK THEM IN THEIR RICH CHOCOLATE ASSHOLES
by (Josh Hara), 1 hour, 44 minutes ago.
Favorited by Friend

I wish the little kids who made this t-shirt could see how awesome my boobs look.
by (best girl betty), 1 hour, 46 minutes ago.
Favorited by Friend
Also by

How do I know my Ronald McDonald House Charity donation won't go to shore up Grimmace's child molestation court costs?
by (The Night Stalker), 1 hour, 47 minutes ago.
Favorited by Friend

I'm glad we don't walk around with our vaginas showing. It's been so humid, and you'd think I'm too old for these pig tails.
by (nine thumps), 1 hour, 48 minutes ago.
Favorited by Friend

But seriously, I tuck my pinky under the iPhone when I hold it and the dock hole is sharp.

Class-action lawsuit? http://yfrog.com/2dw4hoj
by (jimk), 1 hour, 55 minutes ago.
Favorited by Friend

Any man squinting into the setting sun not thinking of Clint Eastwood is denying the very nature of his soul.
by (Josh Hara), 2 hours, 3 minutes ago.
Favorited by Friend
Also by

Naturally, "Egg Beaters" are tank-tops for white-trash roosters.
by (Jason Mustian ), 2 hours, 4 minutes ago.
Favorited by Friend

There is a glass of simple syrup in my fridge. Technically it's for cocktails but I'll probably end up chugging it anyway.
by (Chris Aucutt), 2 hours, 4 minutes ago.
Favorited by Friend

I kiss your mother with this mouth
by (Without Pants), 2 hours, 6 minutes ago.
Favorited by Friend

Every month my gf comes in complaining of minstrel blood. I hate bards as much as the next guy but stabbing is culturally unrefined.
by (Josh S), 2 hours, 6 minutes ago.
Favorited by Friend

Here's the video clip from my TV interview earlier. As you can see, the role of me was played by George Clooney. http://bit.ly/cy0GXo
by (Rex Huppke), 2 hours, 10 minutes ago.
Favorited by Friend

Just explained twitter to someone.
Sigh.
by (Morgan ), 2 hours, 10 minutes ago.
Favorited by Friend

Yes, art is subjective, but my god some poetry is unbelievably crapalicious.
by (Ben Brooks), 2 hours, 11 minutes ago.
Favorited by Friend

Sorry. I realize that was pretty thin camouflage for a second bumper joke, but my lawyers assured me it was a perfectly reasonable response.
by (Geoff Barnes), 2 hours, 14 minutes ago.
Favorited by Friend

Yes ma'am. I'll hang my head in shame after I've hung my testicles in this iced coffee.

My dignity takes a back seat when battling the heat
by (Jonathan), 2 hours, 21 minutes ago.
Favorited by Friend

It looks like Tampa Bay plays their games inside a deserted Sam's Club.
by (John Gruber), 2 hours, 23 minutes ago.
Favorited by Friend

It turns out that using her vibrator to stir a can of paint was somewhat of a dildon't.
by (Brent Something), 2 hours, 23 minutes ago.
Favorited by Friend