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davegorum

Tweets favorited by davegorum’s friends.

The upside is Charlie Rangel has plenty of places to choose from if he retires.
by (Brian Bolter), 1 hour, 10 minutes ago.
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The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was buying his OCD roommate toilet paper with lotion in it.
by (John ), 1 hour, 11 minutes ago.
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Great idea for big cities: bathroom stores.
by (Bailey Siewert), 1 hour, 15 minutes ago.
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I want beer. All of the beer in the whole wide world. All of it! ALL OF ITTTTTTT!
by (Sarah), 1 hour, 19 minutes ago.
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When a product claims to take your experience "to the next level," I just assume they're talking about hell.
by (SeoulBrother), 1 hour, 41 minutes ago.
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I started catching up on my political news, but then I saw something about a Weiner Rangel and skipped ahead to sports.
by (Wade), 1 hour, 44 minutes ago.
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I have to stop masturbating in the shower for a while because I'm pretty sure my bathtub is ovulating.
by (Josh Donoghue), 1 hour, 44 minutes ago.
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Texting my ex-boyfriend and he sends a random penis pic. It's just a small reminder of why we are no longer together.
by (Lindsay), 1 hour, 44 minutes ago.
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But seriously, I tuck my pinky under the iPhone when I hold it and the dock hole is sharp.

Class-action lawsuit? http://yfrog.com/2dw4hoj
by (jimk), 1 hour, 56 minutes ago.
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Yes ma'am. I'll hang my head in shame after I've hung my testicles in this iced coffee.

My dignity takes a back seat when battling the heat
by (Jonathan), 2 hours, 22 minutes ago.
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It looks like Tampa Bay plays their games inside a deserted Sam's Club.
by (John Gruber), 2 hours, 24 minutes ago.
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I don't see how a dinky little bumper can prevent harm from coming to my iPhone or my family ever again.

I demand a press conference.
by (Geoff Barnes), 2 hours, 25 minutes ago.
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Franken/Weiner 2016
by (Josh), 2 hours, 28 minutes ago.
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My cab driver uses his blinkers when changing lanes. Is this real life??
by (Yodel T. Machine), 2 hours, 29 minutes ago.
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Joke all you want, but I don't see how it's even practical to eat an entire corn-on-the-cob the long way.
by (Wade), 2 hours, 31 minutes ago.
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There are grievous branding errors, and then there is Dressbarn.
by (Linda ), 2 hours, 39 minutes ago.
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@lafix I'm fighting it. Like a werewolf fights the full moon. Or a comedian fights against making a joke at a funeral. Or two jokes.
by (Fake J. Adam Moore), 2 hours, 39 minutes ago.
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Oh no I can't believe I missed your call when I declined it because I was playing Bejeweled.
by (Robin McCauley), 2 hours, 40 minutes ago.
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I am the Roger Bannister of sliding down staircase handrails.
by (matt), 2 hours, 40 minutes ago.
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I talk good.
by (Laura), 2 hours, 43 minutes ago.
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