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davislove

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When someone uses 'diarrhea of the mouth', I don't think they really remember the last time they had diarrhea.
by (Matthew), 20 minutes ago.
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Just did my first FaceTime call. Notes:
-No black guy on the other end like the ads claim.
-Decent level of nudity.
-Your mom says hello.
by (Jeff Kelley), 21 minutes ago.
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If only there were a list of suggestions for people I should follow on Twitter, comprised exclusively of people I've avoided.
by (Geoff Barnes), 38 minutes ago.
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The upside is Charlie Rangel has plenty of places to choose from if he retires.
by (Brian Bolter), 1 hour, 19 minutes ago.
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The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was buying his OCD roommate toilet paper with lotion in it.
by (John ), 1 hour, 20 minutes ago.
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Great idea for big cities: bathroom stores.
by (Bailey Siewert), 1 hour, 24 minutes ago.
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Blackberry's from Canada, and AfricanCanadianPad just doesn't sound right. That's why.
by (Tim Bray), 1 hour, 27 minutes ago.
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I want beer. All of the beer in the whole wide world. All of it! ALL OF ITTTTTTT!
by (Sarah), 1 hour, 28 minutes ago.
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I started catching up on my political news, but then I saw something about a Weiner Rangel and skipped ahead to sports.
by (Wade), 1 hour, 53 minutes ago.
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I have to stop masturbating in the shower for a while because I'm pretty sure my bathtub is ovulating.
by (Josh Donoghue), 1 hour, 53 minutes ago.
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Texting my ex-boyfriend and he sends a random penis pic. It's just a small reminder of why we are no longer together.
by (Lindsay), 1 hour, 53 minutes ago.
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FUCK CHOCOLATE COOKIES -FUCK THEM IN THEIR RICH CHOCOLATE ASSHOLES
by (Josh Hara), 1 hour, 54 minutes ago.
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I wish the little kids who made this t-shirt could see how awesome my boobs look.
by (best girl betty), 1 hour, 56 minutes ago.
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How do I know my Ronald McDonald House Charity donation won't go to shore up Grimmace's child molestation court costs?
by (The Night Stalker), 1 hour, 56 minutes ago.
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I'm glad we don't walk around with our vaginas showing. It's been so humid, and you'd think I'm too old for these pig tails.
by (nine thumps), 1 hour, 58 minutes ago.
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Any man squinting into the setting sun not thinking of Clint Eastwood is denying the very nature of his soul.
by (Josh Hara), 2 hours, 13 minutes ago.
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Naturally, "Egg Beaters" are tank-tops for white-trash roosters.
by (Jason Mustian ), 2 hours, 14 minutes ago.
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There is a glass of simple syrup in my fridge. Technically it's for cocktails but I'll probably end up chugging it anyway.
by (Chris Aucutt), 2 hours, 14 minutes ago.
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I kiss your mother with this mouth
by (Without Pants), 2 hours, 16 minutes ago.
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Every month my gf comes in complaining of minstrel blood. I hate bards as much as the next guy but stabbing is culturally unrefined.
by (Josh S), 2 hours, 16 minutes ago.
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