Tweeteorites

derbyjames

Tweets favorited by derbyjames’s friends.

Leaderboard Friends’ Faves Ego Boost

Oh, TODAY they release the iPhone4. I needed one yesterday.
by (Peter), 4 hours, 59 minutes ago.
Favorited by Friend
Also by

♫ ♪ Lord, I was born a NAMBLA man.
Tryin' to get some loving and doing the worst I can. ♪ ♫
by (Doctor Zaius), 5 hours, 12 minutes ago.
Favorited by Friend
Also by

Stupid liquor store didn't have any National Cheesecake Day specials. Apparently the terrorists have already won.
by (Pat Handley), 5 hours, 21 minutes ago.
Favorited by Friend

Oh what the hell. Let's watch Annie Hall for the 833rd time. I mean, I've already thought about vibrating eggs twice today.
by (Chris Aucutt), 5 hours, 23 minutes ago.
Favorited by Friend

I like my hamburgers the way I like my women: two all something patties, special sauce, something something sesame seed buns.
by (Stretch Bootcut), 5 hours, 26 minutes ago.
Favorited by Friend

I'm trying to connect the dots between my thoughts and came up with the outline of nipple clamps. Wonder what that means.
by (Crusty Juggler), 5 hours, 37 minutes ago.
Favorited by Friend
Also by

Taking my kid to the mall to get a new iPod for her birthday.

I hope someone left their car unlocked with theirs inside.
by (ruthakers), 5 hours, 42 minutes ago.
Favorited by Friend
Also by

Pro tip: Old people are NOT babies, so knock off the baby-talk when speaking to the elderly.
by (Dexter Colt), 5 hours, 44 minutes ago.
Favorited by Friend

It appears to me Kanye West thinks of himself as the Dalai Lama of the obvious.
by (Feengrangle Qualis), 5 hours, 44 minutes ago.
Favorited by Friend
Also by

♫ ♪ I've got two ticks and they're parasites.
Don't you scratch your bag or the fleas will bite. ♪ ♫
by (Doctor Zaius), 5 hours, 45 minutes ago.
Favorited by Friend

I heard @BillMaher will be in Kansas City tonight. He better not try to poison our youth with his liberal agenda of shoes & indoor plumbing.
by (Michael Pierce), 5 hours, 57 minutes ago.
Favorited by Friend

The karaoke lyric prompter was broken, and everyone seemed appalled that I don't know all the words to "I Want To Hold Your Ham".
by (Doctor Zaius), 6 hours, 3 minutes ago.
Favorited by Friend
Also by

Don't worry, if you flunk out of Twitter you can go teach at Facebook.
by (Verified Account), 6 hours, 15 minutes ago.
Favorited by Friend
Also by

The new Noise Canceling feature only works if I throw my iPhone at Wife's head--but then it starts up again almost immediately.
by (Matt [Redacted]), 6 hours, 23 minutes ago.
Favorited by Friend
Also by

I don't know about you, but I'm pretty excited for 2047's Robotic Housewives of Moon City.
by (Stephen Colbert), 6 hours, 26 minutes ago.
Favorited by Friend

Now accepting Tramp Stamp suggestions.
by (Ron Deezy), 6 hours, 37 minutes ago.
Favorited by Friend

@raiselm I could dab on a bit of patchouli!
by (Shades of Red), 6 hours, 37 minutes ago.
Favorited by Friend

Ugh, I hate it when my iPhone and iPad get scratched up by all the loose diamonds in my bag.
by (matt), 6 hours, 43 minutes ago.
Favorited by Friends
Also by

Does anyone know where I am? No? For all you know I'm at work, right? RIGHT?
by (Dumb Arse), 6 hours, 47 minutes ago.
Favorited by Friend

Never pull sticks out that are up the asses of spineless people.
by (rejecter), 6 hours, 50 minutes ago.
Favorited by Friend
Also by