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domnit

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Someday, Son, all these Automoblox will be yours.
by (David Jacobs), 4 hours, 41 minutes ago.
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Germans have words for feelings we only describe in English. Like the one you get when you're not in preschool, but not quite in 1st grade.
by (Julieanne Smolinski), 5 hours, 53 minutes ago.
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If one woman can produce a baby in nine months, then 1,166,400 women can produce a baby in 20 seconds flat.
by (Arch Stanton), 6 hours, 45 minutes ago.
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I am un chien andalusia.
by (Ex Libris), 6 hours, 56 minutes ago.
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@Fake_Rockstar I've found recently that the best thing to do is not to read any Internet comments anywhere, ever. Much better for my sanity.
by (Scott Bateman), 6 hours, 57 minutes ago.
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Talf sdnoces 020 seconds flat.
by (A. Koford), 7 hours, 24 minutes ago.
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@biorhythmist If you shave it, you can eat a peach in TEN seconds. It’s true. Ask your mom.
by (Mike Monteiro), 7 hours, 44 minutes ago.
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Clear bra straps aren't invisible bra straps and they make you look like you're stuffed in a 6-pack ring.
by (kelly oxford), 7 hours, 54 minutes ago.
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Nine inch nails must be impossible to type with.
by (matt), 8 hours, 44 minutes ago.
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I had soup twice today. Like some kind of prisoner. Locked up. And there's no sex.
by (Josh), 8 hours, 54 minutes ago.
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Why does Colin Firth have to be wet in all of his movies? Why do I have to be, for that matter?
by (Aimee B), 8 hours, 54 minutes ago.
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First week of independent life has been a rousing success. Feeling organized, focused, productive and hey are you going to eat that?
by (Beep.), 9 hours, 15 minutes ago.
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There is a horse in the Apple Store and no one sees it but me. http://bit.ly/cA3oO7
by (Frank Chimero), 9 hours, 20 minutes ago.
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I prioritized your mom's Inbox. Then I set up gmail filters so all of her Amazon emails went to one folder. Then I fucked her.
by (matt), 9 hours, 58 minutes ago.
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All conflict arises from good people wanting the same ends unable to agree on the means. That and stupid crazy fuckers.
by (The Bosha), 10 hours ago.
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If I didn't wear socks with my sandals, everyone would be able to see my gross ankles through these assless denim stirrup pants.
by (Doctor Zaius), 10 hours, 3 minutes ago.
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I never knew: there was another couple in Lincoln's box that night in Ford's Theatre. Their story is even more gruesome. http://j.mp/cKAWuV
by (David Friedman), 10 hours, 32 minutes ago.
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You shouldn't end a sentence in a preposition unless it is a proposition, like "I am the one you want to have all the sex with?"
by (Laura), 10 hours, 46 minutes ago.
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After a pretty crappy week, I'm at least thankful I'm not stuck in a Chilean mine. (Assuming they don't have free Wi-Fi.)
by (Tim Siedell), 10 hours, 46 minutes ago.
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Turning off Apple's iTunes Ping. That was fun. Wait, no it wasn't really.
by (sean bonner), 10 hours, 53 minutes ago.
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