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doublejack

Tweets favorited by doublejack’s friends.

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If I were redesigning the bazooka I would make it look like a cat. People would be all, "That's a big, fucking cat," and then POW!
by (Trelvix), 1 hour, 6 minutes ago.
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@Just_Alison @daveshumka My God. She's right. Unstar.
by (Polythene Spam), 1 hour, 18 minutes ago.
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White people will never not sing the bum bum bum's in 'Sweet Caroline'.
by (ruthakers), 1 hour, 36 minutes ago.
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Guy: you know raspberries & blueberries are highest in anti-oxidants?

Me: nods head

Dude: ok, I'm not going to talk to you anymore
by (~SUMMER~), 1 hour, 46 minutes ago.
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I tried to be a workaholic but workahol tastes like shit.
by (donni), 2 hours, 8 minutes ago.
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After the apocalypse, when we have to survive on cans of cat food, I'll be totally fine. Really. I might add a dash of salt. Mmmm.
by (Neven Mrgan), 2 hours, 34 minutes ago.
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Twitter's only showing my @-replies from 2007. I hope this is the 1st scene of a time travel movie where I teach everyone about hashtags.
by (m), 3 hours, 8 minutes ago.
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LET'S ALL WATCH OUR NEW MARMADUKE DVDS TOGETHER. PRESS PLAY NOW.
by (Tim Siedell), 3 hours, 8 minutes ago.
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How many roofies do I slip in a pizza, you know ... if the pizza's playing hard to get?
by (Josh Donoghue), 3 hours, 8 minutes ago.
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One sign that you had a bad summer: Your beach was oilier than the entire cast of Jersey Shore.
by (blondediva11), 3 hours, 12 minutes ago.
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My parents are "dancing". It looks like they're being attacked by bees.
by (Aimee B), 3 hours, 15 minutes ago.
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I heard that when fish use the mail they have to send everything C-O-D
by (Scott Aukerman), 3 hours, 18 minutes ago.
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Keep believin', middle-aged white dude at Wegmans wearing a Charlie Batch jersey. Keep believin'!
by (Steve Lopez), 3 hours, 20 minutes ago.
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BP must be in the diaper business, too. These blowout preventers never work.
by (Brian Bolter), 3 hours, 22 minutes ago.
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I explained I was wearing flip flops because of my infected open heel wound, not poor fashion, but people still wouldn't high five me. :(
by (Jason), 3 hours, 34 minutes ago.
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The Jonas Brothers have lots of moles. I hope they get them checked often.
by (Stacey), 3 hours, 35 minutes ago.
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 No results found for "Shirley Temple Black Russian"

Until now.
by (matt), 3 hours, 36 minutes ago.
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You still pay for a cell phone? In Bed-Stuy we use courier pigeons instead. If you see me clapping on a rooftop, I'm checking my voicemail.
by (Simon Goetz), 3 hours, 43 minutes ago.
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In less than an hour I will attempt to live-tweet a color photograph of the actual Bun E. Carlos. You may begin refreshing... NOW.
by (JTD), 3 hours, 44 minutes ago.
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Just got hit on by a Blackberry user. Gross.
by (Chris Clark), 3 hours, 51 minutes ago.
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