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drewm

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My parents are "dancing". It looks like they're being attacked by bees.
by (Aimee B), 1 hour, 39 minutes ago.
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I explained I was wearing flip flops because of my infected open heel wound, not poor fashion, but people still wouldn't high five me. :(
by (Jason), 1 hour, 58 minutes ago.
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You still pay for a cell phone? In Bed-Stuy we use courier pigeons instead. If you see me clapping on a rooftop, I'm checking my voicemail.
by (Simon Goetz), 2 hours, 7 minutes ago.
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In the middle of a discussion about Facebook and gender, she suddenly says "Oh! Butter!" and runs out of the room.
by (Simon Crowley), 2 hours, 25 minutes ago.
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I see you're looking at the Aston Martin. You have fine taste. Perhaps I can interest you in a reheated Big Mac. -Facebook as a Car Salesman
by (luckyshirt), 2 hours, 25 minutes ago.
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♪ Bourbon in my slushie ♪
by (Jason Sweeney), 2 hours, 28 minutes ago.
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Me: "Oh god. I wonder what else can go wrong."
Husband: "Hurricane tomorrow."
Me: "Touché."
by (Beth), 2 hours, 34 minutes ago.
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If they made an 80-ton bag of popcorn, I'd still be surprised when I scraped the bottom halfway through the movie.
by (Katie Rose), 2 hours, 46 minutes ago.
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Penis car penis car drives wherever the penises are no I will not shut up I paid to eat in this restaurant goddammit
by (Jay Hathaway), 2 hours, 48 minutes ago.
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There is a definite hierarchy in the hotel minibar and I've gone into the cognac. God help us all.
by (Amy Jane Gruber), 2 hours, 49 minutes ago.
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IT'S CRIPPLING INSECURITY AND BUD LIGHT LIME TIME.
by (Sam Hey), 3 hours, 12 minutes ago.
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Lots of differences between the US and the UK but drunken skanks walking home from the bars while carrying their shoes are pretty universal.
by (Amy Jane Gruber), 3 hours, 25 minutes ago.
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#ff - An entire blog dedicated to pictures of @stephenfry 's ties - don't miss it! - http://su.pr/1FqscL
by (The Staff), 3 hours, 43 minutes ago.
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OH "Hey baby, check out my texture garden"—@flaneur
by (Steve Marshall), 4 hours, 18 minutes ago.
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Re-watching Spaced. As good as I remember, but with a transmission date that makes me feel very old indeed.
by (Danny Amey), 4 hours, 21 minutes ago.
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Germans have words for feelings we only describe in English. Like the one you get when you're not in preschool, but not quite in 1st grade.
by (Julieanne Smolinski), 4 hours, 28 minutes ago.
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What's worse than raining cats and dogs? Hailing taxicabs. *ba dum bum* //awful punchlines inspired by @theincidentapp
by (Josh Clark), 4 hours, 31 minutes ago.
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I've already received more positive feedback for getting Brooks's Law wrong on Twitter then I'll ever get for citing it correctly at work.
by (Arch Stanton), 5 hours, 6 minutes ago.
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If one woman can produce a baby in nine months, then 1,166,400 women can produce a baby in 20 seconds flat.
by (Arch Stanton), 5 hours, 20 minutes ago.
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Funeral services for Chris's 1st Gen iPhone, 'Chad,' will be held tomorrow. "I never dropped him," Chris said, "but he was kind of a dick."
by (Chris Aucutt), 5 hours, 36 minutes ago.
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