Organizing my junk.
by PDXRedhead (Emily),
42 minutes ago.
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"Nikki Sixx: It's ‘Hard’ to See Kat with Jesse James." It's hard for anyone to look at them, Nikki. We're scared our eyes will catch an STD.
by capricecrane (caprice crane),
50 minutes ago.
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Hey Television: Free Idea: Whore Vampire housewives making cakes, TO THE DEATH!
by sucittaM (MJ),
53 minutes ago.
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So, you're expecting a baby, huh?
To do what?
by coreyhinds (Corey Hinds),
53 minutes ago.
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Dropping food down your shirt is great because you have a snack for later. Downside? White cheddar popcorn boobs.
by Mercedeslv (Mercedes Mix),
56 minutes ago.
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Diapers are the bookends of life.
by DoubleBerg426 (Sam LW),
1 hour, 2 minutes ago.
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If you don't shave or wax your pubes and you wear panty hose with no underwear, your crotch looks like Vlade Divac robbing a gas station.
by JennyJohnsonHi5 (Jenny),
1 hour, 2 minutes ago.
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1 in 5 Americans now think that Boise is a state.
by DadsUpLate (DadsUpLate),
1 hour, 4 minutes ago.
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My nickname in high school was 'Skidmarks' but it's not as bad as it sounds; I just ran over a lot of cats with my car.
by brentcetera (Brent Something),
1 hour, 7 minutes ago.
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Surprised that SC Johnson hasn't come out with Pledge® "Allegiance" yet. Maybe make it Napalm scented. And cross promote with Air Glade?
by danagel (dave nagel),
1 hour, 11 minutes ago.
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The deposits of sand on the toilet seat can mean only one thing, and I do not want to know what that thing is.
by dysolution (Jordan Peterson),
1 hour, 41 minutes ago.
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There will be a lot of cats with big chips on their little cat shoulders after all the dogs get raptured.
by luckyshirt (luckyshirt),
1 hour, 41 minutes ago.
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Just received a Get Well card. I'm not sick so I guess somebody has a beef against city water.
by FormerlyCarrmah (Formerly Carrmah),
1 hour, 42 minutes ago.
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It was a big meeting. Muslim Obama sat at a table with living Elvis, a unicorn, a vampire, a mermaid and a fiscally responsible republican.
by juskewitch (Adam Juskewitch),
1 hour, 47 minutes ago.
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Heidi says she has to constantly massage her breast implants.
I assume it's because nobody else wants to.
by DDDBU (D),
1 hour, 47 minutes ago.
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A man on death row for sodomizing and murdering dozens of girls recently died from rectal cancer.
I had no idea karma was into anal.
by goldengateblond (Shauna. With a u.),
1 hour, 48 minutes ago.
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Every time I get butterflies in my stomach, I have to tell myself, "STOP EATING BUTTERFLIES, DUMBASS!"
by iamnotdiddy (iamnotdiddy™),
1 hour, 52 minutes ago.
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Ah, children trundling homeward after the first day of school. So much hope. So much promise. So many lice.
by trixieboots (Trixie Longboots),
1 hour, 54 minutes ago.
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Wait a minute, cats don't like lasagna!
#ILoveYouHarris
by MrsRupertPupkin (lauren caltagirone),
1 hour, 54 minutes ago.
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The interactive animation graphic on google.com today probably took someone a lot of time. Then I searched "boobs".
by sucittaM (MJ),
1 hour, 55 minutes ago.
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