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dysolution

Tweets favorited by dysolution’s friends.

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C'mere mamacita, put down that Fixodent and let the doctor teach you the Gimpy Pelican.
by (Sam Hey), 1 hour, 20 minutes ago.
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I just saw a six year old Puerto Rican boy who had almost a full mustache.
by (Jodi Faye Bullock), 1 hour, 30 minutes ago.
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If a tree falls at the Garden Center and nobody's around to hear, it's best to just walk to the exit and leave immediately.
by (David R Jennings), 1 hour, 51 minutes ago.
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I skipped a baby shower today but still have a migraine & abdominal discomfort. Are there other sources of migraine & abdominal discomfort?
by (Trixie Longboots), 1 hour, 53 minutes ago.
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Gotta love a novel that starts with the sentence: "America, said Horace, the office temp, was a run-down and demented pimp." (-Lipsyte)
by , 1 hour, 55 minutes ago.
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Sorry, @theresa_lauren. I can't help but feel partially responsible for that. (My spirit animal IS rabies.)
by (Remiel), 1 hour, 56 minutes ago.
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This buffet offers a smorgasbord of painful diarrheas.
by (angela black), 2 hours, 1 minute ago.
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“Cardiac paddles…? You didn't bring a lovometer?
Wait a minute. Are you from the heart lab or the <3 lab?”

.
by (state your name), 2 hours, 5 minutes ago.
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http://twitpic.com/17ubbv - Look what came in the mail today!
by (califmom), 2 hours, 7 minutes ago.
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I have a perpetual headache that can only be cured by perpetual sex.
by (Thaozilla), 2 hours, 12 minutes ago.
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I should never have let them talk me into that second drink and why is there all this gum under the table?
by (Nicky 36), 2 hours, 13 minutes ago.
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@lefauxfrog Typo? Dang it. I guess that's what happens when you entrust your coding needs to a dyslexic sparrow.
by (codeSparrow), 2 hours, 13 minutes ago.
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I love thunderstorms, but Mr. T-Storm? Could u wait til my kids are asleep before you unleash your fury? They're sorta freakin out. KTHXBAI
by (Meleah), 2 hours, 16 minutes ago.
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@ds In case you're not familiar, MBTA is Marc's email street team, it stands for "Marc Beats Them All," referring to his HTML email skill.
by (Fred LeBlanc), 2 hours, 18 minutes ago.
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@theresa_lauren Was it that song about the guy and the girl?
by (Young Turk), 2 hours, 21 minutes ago.
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@worldwarmike I could hear her shudder from downstairs.
by (angela black), 2 hours, 25 minutes ago.
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If you're very quiet, you can hear the sad trombone after the phrase "Also showing in 2D".
by (Jason Sweeney), 2 hours, 25 minutes ago.
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I AM AMAZING.
by (hoyden malice), 2 hours, 25 minutes ago.
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My mother put The Princess Bride on just as I was getting ready to leave. The woman knows me well.
by (: Sara Renee), 2 hours, 27 minutes ago.
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@gruber Best way around to dispose of a human body!
…
Uh, so I've heard.
by (Mark Dagon Hughes), 2 hours, 30 minutes ago.
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