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You say "manic episode" like that's a problem.
by (Victoria Marinelli), 41 minutes ago.
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I can spit an olive in the air and still catch it in my mouth after 6 martinis...

almost half of the time! Sorry lady.
by (MJ), 43 minutes ago.
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Sometimes pulled pork is the best a man can do.
by (Adrian Woodworth), 43 minutes ago.
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I'm preeeeeeety sure you're drunk, me.
by (Sarah), 1 hour, 15 minutes ago.
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The only thing better than beer is free beer.
by (Elizabeth Oporto), 1 hour, 28 minutes ago.
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Without Jethro Tull, many people would be without an opportunity to play the air flute.
by (Josh Hara), 1 hour, 36 minutes ago.
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"You know what doesn't make sense? Ewoks."
by (Matt Wood), 1 hour, 37 minutes ago.
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Not sure what to do with those Capri Sun wrappers your kids leave all over the house? Glue them together and make some dental dams!
by (Meg Abbitch), 1 hour, 38 minutes ago.
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So a boring white guy walks into a bar and asexually reproduces multiple times. Or so the scene here would appear...
by (MJ), 1 hour, 45 minutes ago.
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if i wrote greeting cards:

(front)
happy anniversary to the man i settled with.
(inside)
i mean for.
by (fartgirl), 1 hour, 49 minutes ago.
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What the fuck is wrong with everybody today? I mean, I KNOW what my problem is.
by (Dolanite), 1 hour, 51 minutes ago.
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Can we please get the old Dennis Miller back?
by (The Night Stalker), 2 hours ago.
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There is a blind date happening at the next table over and it is hilarious.
by (mikemorrow), 2 hours, 1 minute ago.
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spider Spider SPIDER SPIDER SPIDER SPIDER SPIDER
by (KC), 2 hours, 6 minutes ago.
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When someone uses 'diarrhea of the mouth', I don't think they really remember the last time they had diarrhea.
by (Matthew), 2 hours, 7 minutes ago.
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Just did my first FaceTime call. Notes:
-No black guy on the other end like the ads claim.
-Decent level of nudity.
-Your mom says hello.
by (Jeff Kelley), 2 hours, 8 minutes ago.
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The theme is vampires but I'm going as the quivering damsel. This concludes today's episode of Freud 101. Tomorrow: The Cigar Who Loved Me.
by (Melissa), 2 hours, 37 minutes ago.
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I want beer. All of the beer in the whole wide world. All of it! ALL OF ITTTTTTT!
by (Sarah), 3 hours, 15 minutes ago.
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Riding a motorcycle to Temple.

Shabbat shalom indeed!
by (D. E. Benson), 3 hours, 23 minutes ago.
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I started catching up on my political news, but then I saw something about a Weiner Rangel and skipped ahead to sports.
by (Wade), 3 hours, 39 minutes ago.
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