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eugenewei

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Who made shit all blurry!? Also, who is this girl, why's she yelling and where the fuck are my pants? You gonna eat that?
by (MJ), 1 hour, 15 minutes ago.
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If I were redesigning the bazooka I would make it look like a cat. People would be all, "That's a big, fucking cat," and then POW!
by (Trelvix), 1 hour, 23 minutes ago.
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White people will never not sing the bum bum bum's in 'Sweet Caroline'.
by (ruthakers), 1 hour, 53 minutes ago.
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I bet peeping toms see a lot more nose picking than they bargain for.
by (Josh Hara), 2 hours, 13 minutes ago.
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I tried to be a workaholic but workahol tastes like shit.
by (donni), 2 hours, 24 minutes ago.
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My Glenn Beck Halloween costume will be easy.
All I need to do is put eye holes in a douche bag.
by (Feengrangle Qualis), 3 hours, 11 minutes ago.
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From your mouth to God's ears. Then into your ass. Then into God's mouth. Etc, etc...
by (Jason Mustian ), 3 hours, 24 minutes ago.
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How many roofies do I slip in a pizza, you know ... if the pizza's playing hard to get?
by (Josh Donoghue), 3 hours, 24 minutes ago.
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My parents are "dancing". It looks like they're being attacked by bees.
by (Aimee B), 3 hours, 32 minutes ago.
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I'm on the same page as myself which has to be better than we all did next week.
by (Morgan ), 3 hours, 46 minutes ago.
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I left the big díck in my other pants.
by (Feengrangle Qualis), 3 hours, 47 minutes ago.
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I explained I was wearing flip flops because of my infected open heel wound, not poor fashion, but people still wouldn't high five me. :(
by (Jason), 3 hours, 50 minutes ago.
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The Jonas Brothers have lots of moles. I hope they get them checked often.
by (Stacey), 3 hours, 52 minutes ago.
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 No results found for "Shirley Temple Black Russian"

Until now.
by (matt), 3 hours, 53 minutes ago.
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I'm bored. I think I'll take the batteries out of the remote and call Comcast support to see how long it takes them to figure it out.
by (Jamie Sloan), 3 hours, 58 minutes ago.
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You still pay for a cell phone? In Bed-Stuy we use courier pigeons instead. If you see me clapping on a rooftop, I'm checking my voicemail.
by (Simon Goetz), 3 hours, 59 minutes ago.
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Just found out that 1 out of 2 people enjoy sex in their marriages.

My guess is that it's the husband.
by (P.B. & JAM IT IN!), 4 hours, 12 minutes ago.
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In the middle of a discussion about Facebook and gender, she suddenly says "Oh! Butter!" and runs out of the room.
by (Simon Crowley), 4 hours, 18 minutes ago.
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I see you're looking at the Aston Martin. You have fine taste. Perhaps I can interest you in a reheated Big Mac. -Facebook as a Car Salesman
by (luckyshirt), 4 hours, 18 minutes ago.
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♪ Bourbon in my slushie ♪
by (Jason Sweeney), 4 hours, 21 minutes ago.
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