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holman

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Ever notice how much Glenn Beck and Mr. Bill look alike?
by (Mike Monteiro), 44 minutes ago.
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Suggestion for new collective nouns: A "preening" of actors. A "conniving" of actresses.
by (Peter Atencio), 1 hour, 7 minutes ago.
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There will be a lot of cats with big chips on their little cat shoulders after all the dogs get raptured.
by (luckyshirt), 1 hour, 31 minutes ago.
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Covicted? You mean, have I ever been caught doing something criminal? Nope. Never been convicted. When can I start?
by (Jonathan), 1 hour, 32 minutes ago.
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The interactive animation graphic on google.com today probably took someone a lot of time. Then I searched "boobs".
by (MJ), 1 hour, 44 minutes ago.
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It's September already? Damn! And here I've been writing 2003 on my checks for the last week.
by (Joe Schmitt), 1 hour, 45 minutes ago.
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What's wrong with the iTunes icon? Replacement icons reply, "Execution — not enough of it".
by (Cameron Kenley Hunt), 1 hour, 46 minutes ago.
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The correct plural of ocelot is oceshitload. Ocefuckton is vulgar and should be avoided.
by (Fake AP Stylebook), 1 hour, 54 minutes ago.
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16yo: "Do you want a Ding Dong?"

Me: "I love ding dongs." *SNICKER*

16yo: "Did you really just—nevermind. I hate you."
by (Jerilyn Hassell Pool), 2 hours, 1 minute ago.
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I just sneezed so hard I can no longer feel my right arm. I smell almonds. Why does everything taste like pennies? PALIN/BECK 2012!!
by (Ticklish Junk), 2 hours, 11 minutes ago.
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Not sure which is grosser: that people throw their chicken bones on the ground or that people just roam the earth eating chicken on bones.
by (Carrie B.), 2 hours, 12 minutes ago.
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YAHOO!!!! 15 followers! Watch out @sween. I'm gaining on your ass. Too bad I ran out of interesting shit to say 12 tweets ago. um BOOBS!?
by (bridget Capra), 2 hours, 14 minutes ago.
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Presumably Glenn Beck and Sarah Palin will continue scaring whites after Labor Day.
by (Jordan Peterson), 2 hours, 16 minutes ago.
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They went camping and he watched her pee in the woods and he told her it was sexy so next time she peed on him and then he changed his mind.
by (Arjun Basu), 2 hours, 16 minutes ago.
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Leave of absence sounds redundant. It's like saying "boat of floating" or "chair of sitting" or "Palin of gibberish."
by (Laura), 2 hours, 19 minutes ago.
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When I'm riding the street car, I like to pretend I'm on an SF-based ride at Disneyland. It eases the pain of public transportation.
by (Jamie Varon), 2 hours, 21 minutes ago.
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COMING THIS FALL: A Minister comes back to life to avenge his death in...

Rev. 2.0
by (ʇɐɥs sɐ ʇɹɐɯs), 2 hours, 25 minutes ago.
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There is a slight possibility the guy I'm dating doesn't know my name.
by (Regular Bez), 2 hours, 26 minutes ago.
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Thank you all for the stars. I'm collecting them all in an envelope to throw on your graves.
by (falarina ballerina), 2 hours, 31 minutes ago.
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Mayor Daley stepping aside only 21 years into his 42-year term. What a Palin move.
by (Rex Huppke), 2 hours, 33 minutes ago.
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