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jadedanger

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I wonder if you can die of autodidactic asphyxiation. I guess I'll look it up. And now I'm dead. End of joke.
by (Adam Lisagor), 1 week ago.
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"This is your life, and it's ending one minuet at a time." - Wolfgang Amadeus Durden
by (Arch Stanton), 1 week ago.
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1000 year digestion?! Man, I'd decompose faster than that OUTSIDE the Sarlacc pit. Is that thing refrigerated or something?
by (Chris Clark), 1 week ago.
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I think I just witnessed a Stella reference and it melted my heart but I'm too scared to say anything.
by (Shane), 1 week, 1 day ago.
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Michael Bay producing a 3D version of "Hansel and Gretel," in case you ever wanted to see Gretel seductively lick an exploding candy cane.
by (The Night Stalker), 1 week, 2 days ago.
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erectus.
habilis.
neanderthalensis.
sapiens.

(no homo)
by (matt), 1 week, 2 days ago.
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I really wish I wrote Android phone reviews so at the end I could say, "This isn't the Droid you're looking for."
by (Kurt Williams), 1 week, 2 days ago.
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The children have finished their fourth course of pure sugar. Relieved there aren’t any conch shells in sight.
by (Beep.), 1 week, 5 days ago.
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Arguing whether the Tea Party is racist is like arguing whether water is wet; or whether Sarah Palin is batshit stupid.
by (Mike Monteiro), 1 week, 5 days ago.
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I'm just a girl with bedhead, coffee breath, chapped lips & runny mascara, asking for a slow dance to STYX's Babe while I wait for my toast.
by (kellydeal), 1 week, 6 days ago.
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Remember that iconic scene in "What women want" where all the women wanted to be called fucking gold digging whores?
by (The Night Stalker), 1 week, 6 days ago.
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Considering that there are NO rivers or lakes that I'm used to, I totally don't regret chasing that waterfall last night.
by (John ), 1 week, 6 days ago.
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Everytime I see R. Kelly on TV, I picture a decal of Calvin peeing on him as he pees on a girl and DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT STEALING MY IDEA!
by (John ), 2 weeks ago.
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This pasta is so revolutionary I'm calling it "Macaroni and Che's."
by (Christa Mrgan), 2 weeks ago.
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If you watch a horror movie backwards it's about a white couple that makes increasingly multicultural friends over the course of the film.
by (Christian Heilmann), 2 weeks ago.
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Shaving your pubes with a disposable razor is the best way to learn what your crotch would look like if it were attacked by a swarm of bees.
by (Ainsley Drew), 2 weeks ago.
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Lazy Tweet: Does anyone know the current exchange rate between Ke$ha and K€sha?
by (luckyshirt), 2 weeks, 2 days ago.
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BREAKING NEWS: Brad Pitt shaves off grey beard. Jeff Bridges spotted scooping up remnants and absorbing them into his own.
by (John ), 2 weeks, 2 days ago.
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I once shot a man just so I could see him in my photostream.
by (Cameron Kenley Hunt), 2 weeks, 4 days ago.
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Congratulations to Gryffindor on their 1-0 victory over the Denver Broncos.
by (matt), 2 weeks, 5 days ago.
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