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jenfunkyjen

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@abigvictory Us too! The best part is that both of The Boy's grandmothers are taking us out for ice cream for dinner.
by (@TJ's Wife), 4 days, 4 hours ago.
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Hey fans! Now, are you really surprised I would claim to have never had soup? I'm so G-D weird that a guy doing a fake Twitter seems sane.
by (Fake Michael Kay), 5 days, 4 hours ago.
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Singing Black Sabbath songs in church. So, yeah, I'm feeling a little Paranoid.
by (JD Crowe), 5 days, 11 hours ago.
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On a plane to Chicago. Guy sitting next to me has made it clear he doesn't want to chat. Man, am I gonna have fun messing with this dude.
by (caprice crane), 5 days, 12 hours ago.
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I have more divining rods than I can shake a stick at.
by (Shari Vanderwerf), 5 days, 13 hours ago.
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home depot - where men are men and the women look like men.
by (Laurel54), 6 days, 7 hours ago.
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In the briefs vs boxers debate, I'd come squarely down on the side of boxers if they had any ability whatsoever to contain your balls.
by (Shari Vanderwerf), 6 days, 7 hours ago.
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Most of the people who claim elves don't exist are secretly elves themselves.
by (donni), 6 days, 7 hours ago.
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There's something to be said for huge sporting events like the Superbowl and the World Series. That something is "Meh".
by (Doc Twittenheimer), 6 days, 7 hours ago.
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Uncle Orange, Giants fan: 'Mets fans are the dumbest fans in baseball.'
by (C.m. Velazquez), 6 days, 7 hours ago.
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I finally get it. When you stare at me with that blank look, it's because you're thinking about us making out, too.
by (dailydillydally), 6 days, 8 hours ago.
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It's interesting how 'wholesome' and 'some hole' sound NOTHING alike.
by (Ben Brooks), 6 days, 8 hours ago.
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I just saw a woman with a muffintop wearing a black-lace ruffled fanny pack, and I didn't even have to go to WalMart. Beat that.
by (Semi Sweet), 6 days, 8 hours ago.
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Girls don't poop. Everything they eat is broken down by a magical intestine fairy who turns it into sweetness and sandwich making skills.
by (Prime Directive), 6 days, 8 hours ago.
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What's the point of having a cat with a saddlebag if he won't pick up a pizza?
by (ChiNurse), 6 days, 8 hours ago.
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Can anyone recommend a Kung-Fu Class for a pig? I'm in the mood for some Pork Chops
by (Bouche Dag), 6 days, 8 hours ago.
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Tumblr must have bought Twitters old data center.
by (Soap Box Liberal), 6 days, 8 hours ago.
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I think my favorite part of the 'It's a Small World' ride at Disney is the furious masturbation.
by (Nick), 6 days, 9 hours ago.
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"Kristin Davis Says No More Sex & The City!" Waaaaay ahead of you, Kristin.
by (caprice crane), 6 days, 9 hours ago.
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Looks like the most popular super hero at this year's Comic-Con is once again Captain Virginity.
by (Michael Pierce), 6 days, 9 hours ago.
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