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jimwhimpey

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If one woman can produce a baby in nine months, then 1,166,400 women can produce a baby in 20 seconds flat.
by (Arch Stanton), 5 hours, 54 minutes ago.
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Talf sdnoces 020 seconds flat.
by (A. Koford), 6 hours, 33 minutes ago.
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I can ride my bike over a bed of nails; in 20 seconds: flat.
by (Christa Mrgan), 6 hours, 42 minutes ago.
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Raccoons: 1 Nila: 0
by (Leonila Salinas), 8 hours, 51 minutes ago.
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Your mom is an overflowing cornucuntia.
by (Josh Donoghue), 8 hours, 56 minutes ago.
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I prioritized your mom's Inbox. Then I set up gmail filters so all of her Amazon emails went to one folder. Then I fucked her.
by (matt), 9 hours, 6 minutes ago.
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Why is this SO FUNNY http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z3xd8bXlzeU
by (Steven Frank), 9 hours, 7 minutes ago.
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Nothing lasts forever, sandwich.
by (A. Koford), 9 hours, 32 minutes ago.
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There are two kinds of people in this world: those with empathy, and who cares about the rest?
by (Cabel M. Sasser), 10 hours, 14 minutes ago.
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@mantia I'm not fond of any new feature of Twitter for iPad. We've done window management before. I don't miss it.
by (Neven Mrgan), 12 hours, 7 minutes ago.
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My building was just evacuated for a Chinese fire drill and all the racists are required to repeat it in one hour.
by (Josh Donoghue), 12 hours, 28 minutes ago.
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"Skynet's extension support effectively makes it bloatware. We strike tonight during mandatory restart." - Linus Torvalds Jr, The Resistance
by (Remiel), 12 hours, 39 minutes ago.
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Thank God it's Blow Job Friday.
by (Sam Hey), 13 hours, 7 minutes ago.
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Everyone's so quick to judge me. I don't judge you and that shitty, hipster music you listen to.
by (iTunes 10 icon), 13 hours, 26 minutes ago.
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I don't know if you've noticed this, but sudoku is goddamn hard. It's bullshit, man.
by (Karen Moltz), 13 hours, 26 minutes ago.
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Baby, go get mamma's tube top and lucky Crocs, we're going to the County Fair.
by (kellydeal), 13 hours, 33 minutes ago.
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Some words should automatically be enclosed in sarcastic quotation marks. Like "chemical-free" and "holy."
by (Stephanie), 13 hours, 41 minutes ago.
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Another oil rig blew up in the Gulf yesterday. There was no oil leak and no one was killed.

See BP? THAT'S how you do an oil rig explosion.
by (ʇɐɥs sɐ ʇɹɐɯs), 14 hours, 1 minute ago.
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18 hours today. And yet somehow I'm still leonard coherent.
by (Dominic Girard), 21 hours, 6 minutes ago.
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Twitterrific is so much better than Twitter for iPad, if only for not trying to be too clever.
by (Joe Hewitt), 21 hours, 59 minutes ago.
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