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ladawn

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C'mere mamacita, put down that Fixodent and let the doctor teach you the Gimpy Pelican.
by (Sam Hey), 1 hour, 12 minutes ago.
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I just saw a six year old Puerto Rican boy who had almost a full mustache.
by (Jodi Faye Bullock), 1 hour, 22 minutes ago.
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If a tree falls at the Garden Center and nobody's around to hear, it's best to just walk to the exit and leave immediately.
by (David R Jennings), 1 hour, 43 minutes ago.
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I skipped a baby shower today but still have a migraine & abdominal discomfort. Are there other sources of migraine & abdominal discomfort?
by (Trixie Longboots), 1 hour, 45 minutes ago.
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Gotta love a novel that starts with the sentence: "America, said Horace, the office temp, was a run-down and demented pimp." (-Lipsyte)
by , 1 hour, 47 minutes ago.
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There are no roundhouse kick related deaths on Chuck Norris' birthday.
by (Essentially Me), 1 hour, 50 minutes ago.
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This buffet offers a smorgasbord of painful diarrheas.
by (angela black), 1 hour, 53 minutes ago.
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“Cardiac paddles…? You didn't bring a lovometer?
Wait a minute. Are you from the heart lab or the <3 lab?”

.
by (state your name), 1 hour, 58 minutes ago.
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http://twitpic.com/17ubbv - Look what came in the mail today!
by (califmom), 1 hour, 59 minutes ago.
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I should never have let them talk me into that second drink and why is there all this gum under the table?
by (Nicky 36), 2 hours, 5 minutes ago.
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Whiskey & diet in one hand, Skinny Cow ice cream bar in the other. It's not a Jack and Coke Float, but it'll do.
by (Hissy), 2 hours, 5 minutes ago.
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@lefauxfrog Typo? Dang it. I guess that's what happens when you entrust your coding needs to a dyslexic sparrow.
by (codeSparrow), 2 hours, 5 minutes ago.
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Caught a bit of idol just now, and this might be the meth-- but did I just see a guy sing for 3 minutes about having his bottled rubbed?
by (Punkrockie Brewster), 2 hours, 10 minutes ago.
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Do you ever feel like you're being watched? I do all the time. I think it's why I never boil.
by (Angry Old Coot), 2 hours, 11 minutes ago.
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My best jokes, I forget right as I'm about to type.
by (Soap Box Liberal), 2 hours, 13 minutes ago.
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I'm not saying that I'm a bad cook or anything, but pretty much everything I eat can be served in a bowl and called "oatmeal."
by (Jess), 2 hours, 15 minutes ago.
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"If you really wanted to mess me up, you should have gotten to me earlier!" I love this movie.
by (LaDawn Driscoll), 2 hours, 16 minutes ago.
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If you're very quiet, you can hear the sad trombone after the phrase "Also showing in 2D".
by (Jason Sweeney), 2 hours, 17 minutes ago.
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One day my failing memory will invent the catchphrase little Webster Long never had. And it will be fantastic.
by (Jason Phillips), 2 hours, 18 minutes ago.
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"A hard man is good to find." Keep that in mind ladies. And fellas, Keep up your end of the deal. See what I did there?
by (Mischieveous ), 2 hours, 19 minutes ago.
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