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"So, a writer... What do you write?"
Surliteral nano-literature.
Into a rectangle.
by (Crotchety Crank), 10 minutes ago.
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Fun Size? More like Disappointment Size, Mr. American Chocolate Bar Corporation.
by (JerryThomas), 26 minutes ago.
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If history has taught us anything, it's that if you are a boy with a beard and a guitar, I will probably sleep with you.
by (christa), 29 minutes ago.
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the snack situation in my apartment is a failure of homeric proportions.
by (Tuttle C. Manty), 32 minutes ago.
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Revenge is a dish best served secretly covered with sperm.
by (fuckedy), 39 minutes ago.
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Bitches! What's up? (you're a bitch if you respond)
by (Em), 42 minutes ago.
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Sorry I've been away from twitter for a few days. Been busy abusing drugs and not giving a fuck, cause you know, I'm a multi-tasker.
by (The Real JazzyJeffro), 43 minutes ago.
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Your mom's like the town bicycle: everyone shuns the town bicycle, preferring to ride their own bicycles.
by (BATSHELTER), 44 minutes ago.
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Him: "How many excuses for avoiding sex DO you have?"

Me: I was with the ex for 16 years, so count on 6 more years worth."
by (Susanne), 48 minutes ago.
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Now that it's quiet I'll be in the kitchen, if you need me, cooking up some good ol' fashioned crack rocks. God I love my me time.
by (Jeni Scagnetti), 49 minutes ago.
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Hey police officer! Don't just drive past me, profile me damn it! I'm still young and hip! Oh lord, did I just use "Hip" in a sentence?
by (S. Anthony Thomas), 49 minutes ago.
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It wasn't so much a break-up as it was a series of breakdowns (logic, communication, bathroom door).
by (Sociopathetic), 50 minutes ago.
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I hate the phrase "parental unit." I saw my dad's parental unit once, and it scarred me for life.
by (Mike), 52 minutes ago.
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I'm broker than the American Health Care system.
by (Nico Dice), 57 minutes ago.
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"Which picture are you licking at?"

"Looking."

"Looking at."

I blame you, Twitter.
by (Griffin DeJaco ☮), 1 hour ago.
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I often wonder about my place in the grand scheme of things and then I remember your mom is a whore.

Thanks for that.
by (Laura), 1 hour ago.
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If the show was called Tin Chef, I'd kick ass.
by (Clayton Hove), 1 hour, 1 minute ago.
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My teenage sons are Gurping. Why didn't any of you warn me about this?
by (The Bosha), 1 hour, 1 minute ago.
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Currently raging against the latrine
by (Ol' Doc Vessel), 1 hour, 1 minute ago.
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I wish women had a snooze button on their ass you could smack so they'd shut the fuck up for nine minutes.
by (Bill Mc7), 1 hour, 8 minutes ago.
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