Tweeteorites

lefauxfrog

Tweets favorited by lefauxfrog’s friends.

Leaderboard Friends’ Faves Ego Boost

From your mouth to God's ears. Then into your ass. Then into God's mouth. Etc, etc...
by (Jason Mustian ), 1 hour, 18 minutes ago.
Favorited by Friend

My parents are "dancing". It looks like they're being attacked by bees.
by (Aimee B), 1 hour, 26 minutes ago.
Favorited by Friend

I'm on the same page as myself which has to be better than we all did next week.
by (Morgan ), 1 hour, 40 minutes ago.
Favorited by Friend

I left the big díck in my other pants.
by (Feengrangle Qualis), 1 hour, 41 minutes ago.
Favorited by Friend
Also by

I explained I was wearing flip flops because of my infected open heel wound, not poor fashion, but people still wouldn't high five me. :(
by (Jason), 1 hour, 44 minutes ago.
Favorited by Friends
Also by

 No results found for "Shirley Temple Black Russian"

Until now.
by (matt), 1 hour, 47 minutes ago.
Favorited by Friends
Also by

I'm bored. I think I'll take the batteries out of the remote and call Comcast support to see how long it takes them to figure it out.
by (Jamie Sloan), 1 hour, 52 minutes ago.
Favorited by Friend

You still pay for a cell phone? In Bed-Stuy we use courier pigeons instead. If you see me clapping on a rooftop, I'm checking my voicemail.
by (Simon Goetz), 1 hour, 53 minutes ago.
Favorited by Friend
Also by

In the middle of a discussion about Facebook and gender, she suddenly says "Oh! Butter!" and runs out of the room.
by (Simon Crowley), 2 hours, 11 minutes ago.
Favorited by Friend

I see you're looking at the Aston Martin. You have fine taste. Perhaps I can interest you in a reheated Big Mac. -Facebook as a Car Salesman
by (luckyshirt), 2 hours, 12 minutes ago.
Favorited by Friends
Also by

♪ Bourbon in my slushie ♪
by (Jason Sweeney), 2 hours, 15 minutes ago.
Favorited by Friends
Also by

Me: "Oh god. I wonder what else can go wrong."
Husband: "Hurricane tomorrow."
Me: "Touché."
by (Beth), 2 hours, 20 minutes ago.
Favorited by Friend

I spent all day drafting complex legal pleadings. And I just got lost in a Target parking lot.
by (christa), 2 hours, 21 minutes ago.
Favorited by Friend

My buddy says he's voting for Palin because Tina Fey is hot. So there's that.
by (Mark Danielson), 2 hours, 30 minutes ago.
Favorited by Friend

My wife looks so pretty tonight all roofied up. Just like our first date.
by (MJ), 2 hours, 31 minutes ago.
Favorited by Friend
Also by

If they made an 80-ton bag of popcorn, I'd still be surprised when I scraped the bottom halfway through the movie.
by (Katie Rose), 2 hours, 32 minutes ago.
Favorited by Friends
Also by

Penis car penis car drives wherever the penises are no I will not shut up I paid to eat in this restaurant goddammit
by (Jay Hathaway), 2 hours, 35 minutes ago.
Favorited by Friend
Also by

There is a definite hierarchy in the hotel minibar and I've gone into the cognac. God help us all.
by (Amy Jane Gruber), 2 hours, 36 minutes ago.
Favorited by Friend

IT'S CRIPPLING INSECURITY AND BUD LIGHT LIME TIME.
by (Sam Hey), 2 hours, 58 minutes ago.
Favorited by Friend
Also by

My parents got a new TV in the living room and a new bug zapper out on the porch. I got a Sophie's Choice.
by (Erik Price), 3 hours, 1 minute ago.
Favorited by Friend