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mahalis

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Fart Dad
by (SandPo), 57 minutes ago.
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Heard being sung while a broken cup was emptied: "Take…this broken cup…and".

This house is like the worst episode of Glee ever.
by (Arch Stanton), 1 hour, 5 minutes ago.
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I remember when WWF meant Superfly Snuka bodyslamming nerds who play scrabble.
[1586]
by (Sam Hey), 1 hour, 17 minutes ago.
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I am so glad the daily show did a segment on @glennbeck's Massa failure. http://www.thedailyshow.com/watch/wed-march-10-2010/sour-gropes
by (Rosyna Keller), 1 hour, 29 minutes ago.
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Thank you, Zach Galifianakis, for getting famous so that women way out of my league look at me and think, if ever so fleetingly, "maybe."
by (Essex Mortimer Dogg), 1 hour, 29 minutes ago.
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I think my iPhone universal remote experiment is over. No-look usage is too important, and it's impossible on a touchscreen.
by (Matt Drance), 1 hour, 33 minutes ago.
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P22’s release of Edward Johnston’s Underground face is now available in @typekit … Bloody yes, please. http://typekit.com/fonts/1445
by (Grant Hutchinson), 1 hour, 41 minutes ago.
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Damn this sexy robot is sure making me thirsty for vodka
by (extranapkins), 1 hour, 45 minutes ago.
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@youngamerican That one.
by (Adam Lisagor), 1 hour, 54 minutes ago.
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I'm jealous of purses. They turn every day into a little voyage that you have to pack for.
by (Scott Simpson), 2 hours, 20 minutes ago.
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New session added: How To Rawrqfk SXSW From An Airport Bar In Pittsburgh. 7:30 PM tonight @ TGI Friday
by (Geoff Barnes), 2 hours, 20 minutes ago.
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"No no no. *Recital*. With an 'i'."

"Ohhh. That makes more sense. I was wondering how they'd fit a piano in there."
by (Doctor Zaius), 2 hours, 26 minutes ago.
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Okay, everybody shut up about SXSW until I get there tomorrow and we can make everyone feel left out together.
by (Adam Lisagor), 2 hours, 33 minutes ago.
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South, presented by Southwest™
by (Zac White), 2 hours, 34 minutes ago.
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Redundancy is my middle name's middle name.
by (Alison Agosti), 2 hours, 34 minutes ago.
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@cbarrett I'm older than Photoshop! My parents couldn't have named me that. But then where did they get THEIR names? This fantasy is hard.
by (Chris Clark), 2 hours, 38 minutes ago.
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I found out today my cat is Batman! And I'm his mommy!

Wait. Didn't Batman's mother get shot in a alley?

Crap.
by (Beth), 2 hours, 43 minutes ago.
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Bear with me. I need some help.

…

I don't think you understand. A BEAR IS PHYSICALLY NEXT TO ME! PLEASE HELP!
by (pantsless), 2 hours, 46 minutes ago.
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@leolaporte you need to keep Merlin Mann on a tighter leash.
by (Chris Theberge), 2 hours, 54 minutes ago.
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If I was being chased by a T-Rex, I would purposely crap in my pants so I would become much less delicious.
by (Mark Leggett), 3 hours ago.
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