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mikemorrow

Tweets favorited by mikemorrow’s friends.

Leaderboard Friends’ Faves Ego Boost

The upside is Charlie Rangel has plenty of places to choose from if he retires.
by (Brian Bolter), 1 hour, 16 minutes ago.
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The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was buying his OCD roommate toilet paper with lotion in it.
by (John ), 1 hour, 16 minutes ago.
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Great idea for big cities: bathroom stores.
by (Bailey Siewert), 1 hour, 21 minutes ago.
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I want beer. All of the beer in the whole wide world. All of it! ALL OF ITTTTTTT!
by (Sarah), 1 hour, 25 minutes ago.
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When a product claims to take your experience "to the next level," I just assume they're talking about hell.
by (SeoulBrother), 1 hour, 47 minutes ago.
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I started catching up on my political news, but then I saw something about a Weiner Rangel and skipped ahead to sports.
by (Wade), 1 hour, 49 minutes ago.
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I have to stop masturbating in the shower for a while because I'm pretty sure my bathtub is ovulating.
by (Josh Donoghue), 1 hour, 50 minutes ago.
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Texting my ex-boyfriend and he sends a random penis pic. It's just a small reminder of why we are no longer together.
by (Lindsay), 1 hour, 50 minutes ago.
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I wish the little kids who made this t-shirt could see how awesome my boobs look.
by (best girl betty), 1 hour, 52 minutes ago.
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Also by

But seriously, I tuck my pinky under the iPhone when I hold it and the dock hole is sharp.

Class-action lawsuit? http://yfrog.com/2dw4hoj
by (jimk), 2 hours, 1 minute ago.
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The Chicago Manual of Style is clearly American, but it has an English accent in my head.
by (Chris Clark), 2 hours, 4 minutes ago.
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@gruber no way dude - he's gonna get DENIED all weekend
by (Mike Dixon), 2 hours, 6 minutes ago.
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Sorry. I realize that was pretty thin camouflage for a second bumper joke, but my lawyers assured me it was a perfectly reasonable response.
by (Geoff Barnes), 2 hours, 20 minutes ago.
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Yes ma'am. I'll hang my head in shame after I've hung my testicles in this iced coffee.

My dignity takes a back seat when battling the heat
by (Jonathan), 2 hours, 27 minutes ago.
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It looks like Tampa Bay plays their games inside a deserted Sam's Club.
by (John Gruber), 2 hours, 29 minutes ago.
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I don't see how a dinky little bumper can prevent harm from coming to my iPhone or my family ever again.

I demand a press conference.
by (Geoff Barnes), 2 hours, 31 minutes ago.
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Have transformed a blackhead barely visible to the human eye into my own personal Eyjafjallajökull. So that’s nice
by (Mrs Joshua Homme), 2 hours, 32 minutes ago.
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You guys. Sometimes my real life IS as glamorous as my tweets.
by (you are killing me), 2 hours, 32 minutes ago.
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Franken/Weiner 2016
by (Josh), 2 hours, 33 minutes ago.
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My cab driver uses his blinkers when changing lanes. Is this real life??
by (Yodel T. Machine), 2 hours, 34 minutes ago.
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