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One day I'm going to accidentally commit the hack I use to mute the volume in this music game and there's going to be a lot of sad teenagers
by kickingbear (Guy English),
2 hours, 21 minutes ago.
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Problem isn't some ignorant redneck burning a book. Problem is rewarding his stupidity with attention.
by timbray (Tim Bray),
2 hours, 42 minutes ago.
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Man, some of you people give out more stars in a day than my third grade teacher Mrs. Nussbaum handed out during the entire Holocaust.
by biorhythmist (matt),
3 hours, 38 minutes ago.
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Remember that Fun Dip stuff as a kid? The should make an adult version where the stick is made of Tums and the powder is made of Tums.
by hoyboy (Greg Hoy),
4 hours, 11 minutes ago.
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Ironic how some groups who benefit most from the 1st Amendment are the most intolerant of their fellow beneficiaries.
by tdominey (Todd Dominey),
4 hours, 31 minutes ago.
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Not being religious is a tremendous time-saver.
by BorowitzReport (Andy Borowitz),
4 hours, 40 minutes ago.
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@scottboms slow-motion high fives, I think.
No, I can't explain why I picture us wearing flannel shirts.
by drinkerthinker (Lizzy),
4 hours, 46 minutes ago.
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Watching a Japanese movie with Japanese actors playing Russians dubbed in Russian.
by meetar (Peter Richardson),
5 hours, 10 minutes ago.
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"No I really don't think I can get into yet another Housewives seaso—oh alright fine."
by simplebits (Dan Cederholm),
5 hours, 23 minutes ago.
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Nobody is gonna treat you as good as I do, pot sticker.
by sandwichpolice (Lainey),
5 hours, 39 minutes ago.
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How would I describe @Mike_FTW? He's a happy-go-lucky fisherman who spends his day casting a line into the depths to see who will bite.
by hchamp (Heather Champ),
5 hours, 48 minutes ago.
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I wish my sex face was more reminiscent of my "Tori Amos playing air piano" face, but it's actually just like my "angry John McCain" face.
by Jessabelle2o7 (Jess),
5 hours, 51 minutes ago.
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At long last, our national nightmare of having nothing to do on Sundays is over.
by PBones (Paul Kafasis),
5 hours, 51 minutes ago.
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Important thing I learned today: If you try to see how far back you can stand while using a urinal they will take away your library card.
by biorhythmist (matt),
5 hours, 52 minutes ago.
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My husband just scolded the cats and is it wrong that I'm a little turned on?
by damselesque (Beth),
6 hours, 3 minutes ago.
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"That guy totally looks like a shorter, fatter @seoulbrother!"
"Yeah. Seoulbrother Nano."
It worked because we were in an Apple store.
by AmyJane (Amy Jane Gruber),
6 hours, 10 minutes ago.
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If we required the same level of evidence to act on climate change as we did for invading the Middle East, we wouldn't need the Middle East.
by seanhussey (Sean Hussey),
6 hours, 18 minutes ago.
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"We're trying to come up with something you can't think of today, but tomorrow is obvious." http://www.vimeo.com/4167960
by nathanborror (Nathan Borror),
6 hours, 27 minutes ago.
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60% of the time it works every time.
by russu (Russ Unger),
6 hours, 30 minutes ago.
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Seriously, Dick, it's almost fun watching you try to bareback the Tea Party. You kids deserve each other.
by stuntbox (David Sleight),
6 hours, 38 minutes ago.
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