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I feel like I didn't tweet every funny thing that happened today. That's nice.
by indefensible (Indefensible),
3 hours, 46 minutes ago.
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Sleeping under a pile of quilts, out here on the couch, I feel wild, like Daniel Boone, from the Bible, must have felt.
by scottsimpson (Scott Simpson),
4 hours, 50 minutes ago.
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Everything in the SXSW schedule is named like a Dr. Strangelove sequel.
by magnetbox (Ben Tesch),
5 hours, 46 minutes ago.
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One is the loneliest number. Seven is kinda racist. Nine needs to just come out already. Four drinks to forget. Three is angry, so so angry.
by secretsquirrel (Ryan),
5 hours, 49 minutes ago.
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@jessiechar LISTEN TO THE ONE WHERE THEY TALK ABOUT THE MONKEY WEARING A DRESS. LISTEN TO THE ONE WHERE THEY TALK ABOUT A MONKEY WEARING A D
by Just_Alison (Alison Agosti),
6 hours, 9 minutes ago.
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I wanted twitter to hear it first: I have a boyfriend now. His name is Radio Lab.
by jessiechar (Jessie Char),
6 hours, 11 minutes ago.
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Just set my alarm for 6AM. This is going to be hilarious if it actually works.
by SeoulBrother (SeoulBrother),
7 hours, 2 minutes ago.
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Going to a friend's new wave dj night. In other words, I will be drinking absinthe and making out in a cemetery.
by citizenfox (Melissa ),
7 hours, 21 minutes ago.
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@scottsimpson It's a rip-off if they don't let you safely fall through the ceiling at some point though.
by hubs (hubs),
7 hours, 22 minutes ago.
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Any office building could open a side business as an action movie theme park just by charging to let you crawl through the ductwork.
by scottsimpson (Scott Simpson),
7 hours, 27 minutes ago.
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Sometimes I use a flip phone just to feel something. Anything.
by biorhythmist (matt),
7 hours, 45 minutes ago.
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@Just_Alison No, I get it. I was just repeating what you said in a dumb voice.
by daveshumka (David S.),
7 hours, 52 minutes ago.
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@daveshumka So 23 Twibzler jokes. One for every hour you're on Twitter. How are you not getting this?
by Just_Alison (Alison Agosti),
7 hours, 57 minutes ago.
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Bad boob jobs always come in pairs.
by lindstifa (Queen Lindstifa),
8 hours, 5 minutes ago.
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Amber got Final Fantasy XIII which means no Heavy Rain for me. Also I miss my gorgeous hair.
by torrez (Andre Torrez),
8 hours, 16 minutes ago.
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Jitlada! Now that he's full of fish kidneys I'll sell him on the black market. http://twitpic.com/17uugk
by lianamaeby (Liana Maeby),
8 hours, 16 minutes ago.
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Men shouldn't sing "Genie in A Bottle." It just becomes a song about one's junk.
by joshacagan (Josh A. Cagan),
8 hours, 19 minutes ago.
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"Virtually painless." Which means painful, FYI.
by sandwichpolice (SandPo),
8 hours, 19 minutes ago.
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My Mesh Tanktop app would check tomorrow's weather and your appointments and then recommend or not recommend a mesh tanktop.
by badbanana (Tim Siedell),
8 hours, 21 minutes ago.
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and 8 others
Just clicked on a link to a story about Heidi Montag replacing her husband as her manager with a psychic. I need to take my temperature.
by rafeco (Rafe),
8 hours, 37 minutes ago.
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