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pagecrusher

Tweets favorited by pagecrusher’s friends.

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C'mere mamacita, put down that Fixodent and let the doctor teach you the Gimpy Pelican.
by (Sam Hey), 1 hour, 17 minutes ago.
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@KuraFire you, metrosexual? really?
by (Christian Heilmann), 1 hour, 17 minutes ago.
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Sorry, I stand corrected. I'm FIXIN' to leave. Wanted to let ALL Y'ALL know that. (thank you, @pmonks @garrettwinder)
by (Kristina Halvorson), 1 hour, 19 minutes ago.
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This Monday at 11am, my spaceballs are scheduled to be detached from the mothership.
by (Luke in Vancouver), 1 hour, 39 minutes ago.
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I could have set a bomb off in that WalMart bathroom, but I didn't want to improve the condition & leave the staff nothing to do.
by (Papa CokeBear), 1 hour, 43 minutes ago.
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If a tree falls at the Garden Center and nobody's around to hear, it's best to just walk to the exit and leave immediately.
by (David R Jennings), 1 hour, 48 minutes ago.
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With the unfortunate side effects of many of the healthier foods, nutrition should really be called tootrition.
by (Clayton Hove), 1 hour, 49 minutes ago.
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I skipped a baby shower today but still have a migraine & abdominal discomfort. Are there other sources of migraine & abdominal discomfort?
by (Trixie Longboots), 1 hour, 50 minutes ago.
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Gotta love a novel that starts with the sentence: "America, said Horace, the office temp, was a run-down and demented pimp." (-Lipsyte)
by , 1 hour, 52 minutes ago.
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Sorry, @theresa_lauren. I can't help but feel partially responsible for that. (My spirit animal IS rabies.)
by (Remiel), 1 hour, 53 minutes ago.
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Someday I need to learn how to shave my legs so that they don't appear to have gotten caught in a lawn mower.
by (Katie ), 1 hour, 54 minutes ago.
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There are no roundhouse kick related deaths on Chuck Norris' birthday.
by (Essentially Me), 1 hour, 55 minutes ago.
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This buffet offers a smorgasbord of painful diarrheas.
by (angela black), 1 hour, 58 minutes ago.
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“Cardiac paddles…? You didn't bring a lovometer?
Wait a minute. Are you from the heart lab or the <3 lab?”

.
by (state your name), 2 hours, 2 minutes ago.
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They Might Be Giants.

I might be drunk.
by (Befralee MehGraw), 2 hours, 3 minutes ago.
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http://twitpic.com/17ubbv - Look what came in the mail today!
by (califmom), 2 hours, 4 minutes ago.
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I have a perpetual headache that can only be cured by perpetual sex.
by (Thaozilla), 2 hours, 9 minutes ago.
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I love thunderstorms, but Mr. T-Storm? Could u wait til my kids are asleep before you unleash your fury? They're sorta freakin out. KTHXBAI
by (Meleah), 2 hours, 13 minutes ago.
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If this Amazon shipment falls through, I guess I'll have to give away free beer in my presentation. Beer is part of the future. #SxSW
by (Eris Stassi), 2 hours, 14 minutes ago.
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Caught a bit of idol just now, and this might be the meth-- but did I just see a guy sing for 3 minutes about having his bottled rubbed?
by (Punkrockie Brewster), 2 hours, 15 minutes ago.
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