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rainnwilson

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Just opened FlightControl for the first time in months and my high score has been reset to 7. It's as if all that time playing was a waste.
by (Phil Gyford), 15 hours, 17 minutes ago.
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"It's a blue letter! That means you gotta put it right in Mussberger's hand!" That's what's happening.
by (A. Koford), 2 days ago.
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Sorry for spewing so many vomit-related tweets lately; my upset stomach seems to have me regurgitating the same ideas. Retch-ed, I know.
by (Christa Mrgan), 2 days, 1 hour ago.
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Following @paulandstorm is like finding a geode inside a turducken at an alumni dinner for the Colorado School of Mines class of '84.
by (john roderick), 2 days, 2 hours ago.
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Barf: it's what was for dinner.
by (Christa Mrgan), 2 days, 2 hours ago.
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Instead of burning the Quran, let's burn copies of Goosebumps by R.L. Stine. Those books scare the shit out of me.
by (Josh Hopkins), 2 days, 3 hours ago.
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Always tell a pretty girl she's smart, a smart girl she's funny and a funny girl she's got a brilliant rack.
by (matt), 2 days, 7 hours ago.
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My daughter just scrawled TLDR on her copy of "The Hungry Caterpillar". My expectations of her generation's attention spans: diminished.
by (Ben Durbin), 2 days, 8 hours ago.
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Just skimmed through a bunch of @50cent tweets. Can't believe the guy's only been shot nine times.
by (Tim Siedell), 2 days, 12 hours ago.
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How come no one on Tatooine wears sunglasses?
by (John Gruber), 2 days, 12 hours ago.
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Spartans! Ready your breakfast and eat hearty...for tonight, we dine at Sbarro!
by (Paul Kafasis), 2 days, 12 hours ago.
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Hey Tea Party, don’t forget to thank a Socialist for your day off today. And a Republican if you have tomorrow off too.
by (Mike Monteiro), 3 days, 13 hours ago.
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Going to sleep. Don't touch any of my stuff.
by (Jon Wurster), 4 days, 22 hours ago.
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Jonas, @hotdogsladies, and @Gruber are going to do a coffee table book on boutique hotel bathrooms and it is going to be amazing.
by (Amy Jane Gruber), 5 days, 6 hours ago.
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Turned on priority inbox, turned off priority inbox. I think I need to book @hotdogsladies to give me a one-on-one talking-to.
by (Nick Sweeney), 6 days, 5 hours ago.
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My toots have been too sexual lately and I'm sorry. Here: Tyler Perry's House of Paynecakes. Not funny, but at least I didn't say boner.
by (Alison Agosti), 6 days, 5 hours ago.
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Up to Seattle tomorrow, for the long weekend. I have this recurring fantasy where I take @johnroderick on a Banana Republic shopping spree.
by (Scott Simpson), 1 week ago.
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If there were only a way to combine my hatred of packing for a trip with my love of pornography...
by (Scott Simpson), 1 week ago.
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Five bucks says I can eat this popsicle without feeling gay. OK ten bucks. Ten million, final offer. FINE WHATEVER oh god it feels so right
by (Joshua Allen), 1 week, 2 days ago.
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I am the dancing Elaine of cocktail makers. No one has ever looked this awkward shaking a drink.
by (Kim Lisagor), 1 week, 2 days ago.
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