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smashedpotatoes

Tweets favorited by smashedpotatoes’s friends.

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@jamieboogies But you make an AWESOME Jar Jar!
by (Angie Kelly), 56 minutes ago.
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5yo likes to play Star Wars.

Her 1yo sister gets part of R2-D2.

I'm told to pretend I'm Jar-Jar. WTF?!

Meanwhile, her mother is ROFL.
by (Jamie Boogies), 1 hour, 4 minutes ago.
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I'm preeeeeeety sure you're drunk, me.
by (Sarah), 1 hour, 34 minutes ago.
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The only thing better than beer is free beer.
by (Elizabeth Oporto), 1 hour, 47 minutes ago.
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"You know what doesn't make sense? Ewoks."
by (Matt Wood), 1 hour, 55 minutes ago.
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Not sure what to do with those Capri Sun wrappers your kids leave all over the house? Glue them together and make some dental dams!
by (Meg Abbitch), 1 hour, 56 minutes ago.
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if i wrote greeting cards:

(front)
happy anniversary to the man i settled with.
(inside)
i mean for.
by (fartgirl), 2 hours, 8 minutes ago.
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There is a blind date happening at the next table over and it is hilarious.
by (mikemorrow), 2 hours, 19 minutes ago.
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spider Spider SPIDER SPIDER SPIDER SPIDER SPIDER
by (KC), 2 hours, 24 minutes ago.
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That space of time between looking forward to seeing the kids and looking forward to their bedtime is called, “I’m home!”
by (Chris Pinckney), 2 hours, 36 minutes ago.
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@texburgher I call it Favstar.
by (Brian Bolter), 2 hours, 39 minutes ago.
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The theme is vampires but I'm going as the quivering damsel. This concludes today's episode of Freud 101. Tomorrow: The Cigar Who Loved Me.
by (Melissa), 2 hours, 55 minutes ago.
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If there's one thing I'm able to do with absolute consistency it's write down a grocery list and forget to take it with me.
by (El Pee), 2 hours, 59 minutes ago.
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The upside is Charlie Rangel has plenty of places to choose from if he retires.
by (Brian Bolter), 3 hours, 24 minutes ago.
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The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was buying his OCD roommate toilet paper with lotion in it.
by (John ), 3 hours, 25 minutes ago.
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Great idea for big cities: bathroom stores.
by (Bailey Siewert), 3 hours, 29 minutes ago.
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I want beer. All of the beer in the whole wide world. All of it! ALL OF ITTTTTTT!
by (Sarah), 3 hours, 33 minutes ago.
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Riding a motorcycle to Temple.

Shabbat shalom indeed!
by (D. E. Benson), 3 hours, 41 minutes ago.
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Love is spending 95 minutes on hair and makeup and putting on a pretty dress, then ruining it all in a fuckfest on the floor in 10 minutes.
by (Snatch), 3 hours, 42 minutes ago.
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When a product claims to take your experience "to the next level," I just assume they're talking about hell.
by (SeoulBrother), 3 hours, 55 minutes ago.
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