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My twitter account was hacked! 15 months ago. My last 415 tweets were the hacker. He's pretty funny!
by jakeandamir (Amir Blumenfeld),
2 hours, 8 minutes ago.
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One day I'm going to accidentally commit the hack I use to mute the volume in this music game and there's going to be a lot of sad teenagers
by kickingbear (Guy English),
2 hours, 44 minutes ago.
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Problem isn't some ignorant redneck burning a book. Problem is rewarding his stupidity with attention.
by timbray (Tim Bray),
3 hours, 5 minutes ago.
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Why hasn't 4chan done anything about this Koran-burning dude? I thought they were our police.
by kfan (kfan),
3 hours, 48 minutes ago.
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This is always the time of year I regret getting my XFL tattoo.
by paulscheer (Paul Scheer),
3 hours, 58 minutes ago.
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Man, some of you people give out more stars in a day than my third grade teacher Mrs. Nussbaum handed out during the entire Holocaust.
by biorhythmist (matt),
4 hours, 1 minute ago.
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@DuncanBirm Until the game's over, just imagine all the scary men running around on the TV as Yorkies and Pugs in helmets and shoulder pads.
by marklisanti (marklisanti),
4 hours, 28 minutes ago.
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Over Anchorage, AK. Looking everywhere but can't see Russia from here. Will keep you updated as search continues. http://twitpic.com/2mvxod
by Schwarzenegger (Gov. Schwarzenegger),
4 hours, 30 minutes ago.
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Ironic how some groups who benefit most from the 1st Amendment are the most intolerant of their fellow beneficiaries.
by tdominey (Todd Dominey),
4 hours, 54 minutes ago.
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Not being religious is a tremendous time-saver.
by BorowitzReport (Andy Borowitz),
5 hours, 2 minutes ago.
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I only get to wish my amazing sister @irreverend a happy birthday once a year, so let me have this.
by lonelysandwich (Adam Lisagor),
5 hours, 6 minutes ago.
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Oh, you know, replying to spam email, becoming a multi-millionaire, sounding illiterate, the usual.
by bailey (Bailey Siewert),
5 hours, 8 minutes ago.
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@scottboms slow-motion high fives, I think.
No, I can't explain why I picture us wearing flannel shirts.
by drinkerthinker (Lizzy),
5 hours, 8 minutes ago.
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Watching a Japanese movie with Japanese actors playing Russians dubbed in Russian.
by meetar (Peter Richardson),
5 hours, 32 minutes ago.
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@marklisanti Yay. Football.
by kstancik (Kristen Stancik),
5 hours, 45 minutes ago.
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"No I really don't think I can get into yet another Housewives seaso—oh alright fine."
by simplebits (Dan Cederholm),
5 hours, 45 minutes ago.
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Nobody is gonna treat you as good as I do, pot sticker.
by sandwichpolice (Lainey),
6 hours, 1 minute ago.
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How would I describe @Mike_FTW? He's a happy-go-lucky fisherman who spends his day casting a line into the depths to see who will bite.
by hchamp (Heather Champ),
6 hours, 10 minutes ago.
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I wish my sex face was more reminiscent of my "Tori Amos playing air piano" face, but it's actually just like my "angry John McCain" face.
by Jessabelle2o7 (Jess),
6 hours, 14 minutes ago.
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At long last, our national nightmare of having nothing to do on Sundays is over.
by PBones (Paul Kafasis),
6 hours, 14 minutes ago.
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