From your mouth to God's ears. Then into your ass. Then into God's mouth. Etc, etc...
by jasonmustian (Jason Mustian ),
1 hour, 6 minutes ago.
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I'm on the same page as myself which has to be better than we all did next week.
by Morros (Morgan ),
1 hour, 28 minutes ago.
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I left the big díck in my other pants.
by Beef_Tongue (Feengrangle Qualis),
1 hour, 29 minutes ago.
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I explained I was wearing flip flops because of my infected open heel wound, not poor fashion, but people still wouldn't high five me. :(
by CranberryPerson (Jason),
1 hour, 32 minutes ago.
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No results found for "Shirley Temple Black Russian"
Until now.
by biorhythmist (matt),
1 hour, 35 minutes ago.
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I'm bored. I think I'll take the batteries out of the remote and call Comcast support to see how long it takes them to figure it out.
by Xytrex (Jamie Sloan),
1 hour, 41 minutes ago.
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You still pay for a cell phone? In Bed-Stuy we use courier pigeons instead. If you see me clapping on a rooftop, I'm checking my voicemail.
by pagecrusher (Simon Goetz),
1 hour, 41 minutes ago.
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Just got hit on by a Blackberry user. Gross.
by Clarko (Chris Clark),
1 hour, 49 minutes ago.
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I see you're looking at the Aston Martin. You have fine taste. Perhaps I can interest you in a reheated Big Mac. -Facebook as a Car Salesman
by luckyshirt (luckyshirt),
2 hours ago.
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♪ Bourbon in my slushie ♪
by sween (Jason Sweeney),
2 hours, 3 minutes ago.
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I spent all day drafting complex legal pleadings. And I just got lost in a Target parking lot.
by christaland (christa),
2 hours, 10 minutes ago.
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Don't you just hate it when you think you're buying just-below-the-knee leggings and they turn out to be tights? Hipstering ain't easy.
by burritofriday (Amanda2),
2 hours, 11 minutes ago.
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My buddy says he's voting for Palin because Tina Fey is hot. So there's that.
by northpacific (Mark Danielson),
2 hours, 19 minutes ago.
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My wife looks so pretty tonight all roofied up. Just like our first date.
by sucittaM (MJ),
2 hours, 20 minutes ago.
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If they made an 80-ton bag of popcorn, I'd still be surprised when I scraped the bottom halfway through the movie.
by katefeetie (Katie Rose),
2 hours, 20 minutes ago.
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There is a definite hierarchy in the hotel minibar and I've gone into the cognac. God help us all.
by AmyJane (Amy Jane Gruber),
2 hours, 24 minutes ago.
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I wanted to refer back to a story I wrote but I can't remember which website I left it on.
by kfan (kfan),
2 hours, 36 minutes ago.
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IT'S CRIPPLING INSECURITY AND BUD LIGHT LIME TIME.
by samhey (Sam Hey),
2 hours, 47 minutes ago.
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My parents got a new TV in the living room and a new bug zapper out on the porch. I got a Sophie's Choice.
by erikprice (Erik Price),
2 hours, 50 minutes ago.
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Hey, follow @[person you don't yet follow but won't follow back], @[person you already follow], and @[person you previously blocked]! #FF
by davio1962 (David Leibowitz),
2 hours, 56 minutes ago.
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