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@urbanprojectz Thanks. (From the monkey @thewritertype thinks he's imagining but is, in fact, imagining him.)
by (paul bassett davies), 1 day, 3 hours ago.
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@lonelysandwich everyone knows wearing postal shorts is cool. http://yfrog.com/1am5xij
by (Frank Bonomo), 1 day, 3 hours ago.
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The old woodcutter and his wife woke up to find a tiny boy who was no bigger than your thumb. So they named him "Freako."
by (paul bassett davies), 1 day, 4 hours ago.
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So Wikileaks releasing documents about the Afghanistan War could get people killed? Crazy.That's like sending troops into a unwarranted War.
by (Tammy), 1 day, 5 hours ago.
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How does it go? "Lacing... Lacing up the ol' standing shoes," or something like that? I'm terrible at impressions.
by (Scott Jackson), 1 day, 5 hours ago.
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God. It feels like I've been stuck in this marriage forever.

Oops. Did I say "marriage"? I meant traffic.
by (Beth), 1 day, 5 hours ago.
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This socially awkward writer will be on Jeopardy on September 21, twitching & staring at the camera until it's uncomfortable for everyone.
by (Jelisa Castrodale), 1 day, 5 hours ago.
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The dentist was scraping tartar off my teeth when James Blunt's "You're Beautiful" started playing. Pretty much the worst moment of my life.
by (Matthew Baldwin), 1 day, 7 hours ago.
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A Cautionary Tale About Foursquare & Privacy - hragv: http://tumblr.com/xl6ehnl7h
by (Mike Hudack), 1 day, 7 hours ago.
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Real shipbuilders ship ships.
by (Cabel M. Sasser), 1 day, 7 hours ago.
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My posture is so bad that if I sit on a couch for 10 minutes, when I get up my collar is popped.
by (David S.), 1 day, 8 hours ago.
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Vintage Hermes travel bags are tight yo!!! http://twitpic.com/29rqdt
by (Kanye West), 1 day, 8 hours ago.
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I was gonna bid on Churchill's dentures, but then I'd need fake Churchill head, body and tandem bike for us to go riding. What a hassle!
by (Rob Baedeker), 1 day, 9 hours ago.
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I say we have until the end of the week to use wikileak as slang for bathroom activities.
by (grahamclark), 1 day, 10 hours ago.
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It's my office and I'll sing & dance to Ace of Base songs if I want to.
by (Jane), 1 day, 10 hours ago.
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'That was tremendous. Now pick up my shit and carry it home,' the dog tells me, and I obey. I obey.
by (Sam Hey), 1 day, 11 hours ago.
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I like my fees nominal.
by (fistacuff), 1 day, 11 hours ago.
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STOPPING A FIGHT, FIST HALFWAY TO FACE OF GUY I'M PUMMELING, TO TAKE A CALL ON A LAND-LINE PHONE (WITH LONG CORD) BROUGHT TO ME ON A TRAY.
by (CrankyKaplan), 1 day, 11 hours ago.
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When I see a carrot with big bushy leaves, I imagine that's what Carrot Top's uncircumcised junk must look like.
by (This Charming Man ), 1 day, 11 hours ago.
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OMG OMG OMG OMG LOOK AT THE TIME. :o
by (Jessica S), 1 day, 11 hours ago.
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